I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.
Worst Jokes Ever
Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.
Bro, I thought your hairline was the Dorito logo.
When someone saw your hairline, they thought it was a Dorito logo.
My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Me: Demon Slayer.
My teacher: Why?
The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!
Stop making 9/11 jokes. They don't land so well.
I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.
Why are cigarettes good for the environment?
They kill people.
When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.
Bing, bang, boom!
Michael Jackson broke his window. What does he say? "I can't see."
Q: What's the difference between a knife and a woman arguing?
A: A knife has a point.
He sing, he dance, he he.
What do you call a house with dog hair?
A shed.
To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.
Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.
What does Michael Jackson get high on? A little crack.
How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.
I hate the term feminazi. It is offensive to real Nazis.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?
One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.
What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?
They both like lil' boys.
Did you hear about that musical that was sung by some obsidian?
It rocked!