Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I have MP3s on my computer that are older than Johnny Depp's new significant other.

Today, I spotted Johnny Depp on the clearance rack at Kmart. Kmart is currently trying to clear its inventory of wife-beaters.

My teacher: If you could go anywhere, where would you go?

Me: Demon Slayer.

My teacher: Why?

The quiet kid: TO GET EATEN BY A DEMON OR BECOME ONE!!!

I got my daughter a trampoline for her birthday. The ungrateful bitch just sat there in her wheelchair and cried.

When the quiet kid gets angry and the sped kid sees your hiding spot.

Bing, bang, boom!

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos.

Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

How do you stop a MeToo feminazi from telling the world about being raped? Easy: just rape her mouth shut.

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is made of plastic and bad for kids; the other one holds shopping.

What’s the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and a priest?

They both like lil' boys.