What’s the worst part of being a pedophile?
Getting the blood out of your clown suit.
Worst Jokes Ever
Today was the worst day of my life. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Why are Americans bad chess players?
They lost 2 towers.
How do you verify a rape claim? You make it true.
I can find the end of time before I find your hairline.
Girl, you are so ugly that when you look in the mirror, it shatters, more than your relationship.
What do depressed people do when they’re bored?
They “Hang” Out.
What did the Twin Towers say to the plane?
I asked the gym instructor,
"Can you teach me to do the splits?"
"How flexible are you?" he asked.
"Well, I can't make it on Fridays."
Why don't bald eagles brush their teeth? Because they don't have teeth! xD
So there’s this air purifier in my room, right? It’s really noisy, so I unplugged it to sleep better, and sure enough, I fell asleep faster. So I came to the conclusion: if I unplug noisy machines, people will sleep better.
It worked really well in my local hospital.
Yo mamma so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he was just asking her to get out the way.
You're so ugly when your mom dropped you off at school, she got a fine for littering.
What do you do if you see an Indian woman getting raped? Nothing, since raping is a normal everyday part of Indian culture.
Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.
Why do I look nervous when I enter the church? Is it just because I'm the only one with the bomb?
What did the blind, deaf, mentally handicapped orphan get for Christmas?
Cancer.
A 10 year old girl lays in her bed and excitedly waits for Santa to come. When Santa eventually comes she giggles, shivers, and orgasms.
Finally, as a special thank you, she sucks off Santa’s wet cock.
Why did the snowman say, "Good day," to the sun?
Because it was afraid to melt away by the sun.
Jeff crosses the US border.
The second he crosses into the USA, a guy comes up with a gun.
Jeff: "That's what I was expecting."
