Do you know what the hardest part of school is?
Worst Jokes Ever
Do you know what organ remains warm even after a woman dies?
My penis (or rather my neutron laser priming its firing sequence).
Don't turn the toaster sideways, worst mistake of my life.
Your hairline is so far back Sherlock couldn't solve that mystery.
What do you call a kid in a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Guess what you get when you cross a dark side and your king?
What's the best way to get an emo out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
Why can't Mexicans play Uno? Because they steal all of the green cards.
My mom said my sister was an angel, but when I threw her out the window, she didn't fly.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because there is no home plate.
I lit my girlfriend on fire. I guess you could say I ignited her fire.
Why doesn't Elon Musk like Taco Bell?
It gives him gas.
What's still together after all the sh*t they've been through? Your butt cheeks.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he gets a hole in one.
Why is 6 scared of 7?
7 ate 9 and 10!
What has 30 legs but can't swim?
A bus full of children!
What is the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute?
A prostitute can wash their crack and resell it.
What's the hardest part about making vegetable stew?
Trying to get the wheelchair to fit into the pot.
What's the difference between a human and a potato? There is none, you can eat both.
One day Billy, Bob, and Doo Da went fishing in a small boat. None of them could swim, and they had no life jackets.
Doo Da suddenly started yelling, "I got one boys!" as he started trying to reel the fish in. It was way too large for him to get onto the boat, and he fell into the water. The fish had a nice meal that night. Billy and Bob were in shock but knew they had to tell Mrs. Doo Da.
Upon arriving at her house, they did rock, paper, scissors on who had to tell her the news. Bob lost. He slowly rang the doorbell, and Mrs. Doo Da answered. "U-uhm.. we...Doo D-Da..f-fish..." Bob stuttered, then he screamed and ran off. Billy went to go retrieve his friend. Billy had a nice little talk with him and slapped him across the face to get him to just say what happened. Soon, the two men returned to Mrs. Doo Da's house and rang the doorbell again. She opened the door and looked at the two men and asked, "I've been trying to call Doo Da, and he hasn't answered, is he ok?" Bob took a deep breath and took a step forward with a smile on his face. He sang, "We went fishing, guess who died, Doo Da, Doo Da. He smiled and he said good bye, we mourn Doo Da today."
