Worst Jokes Ever
My name is Giselle.
Bleach solves so many problems: stains, dirty dishes, messes, and overpopulation.
What is old, cold, and alone?
An orphan's parents.
Why are people suspicious when a priest yells "Attention Kmart shoppers"?
Boy's pants are half off.
What's the difference between orphans and cotton?
Cotton gets picked.
Delyla is a bitch.
Why are Asians so bad at baseball? ... Because they ate the bat!
My wife told me I could never, ever build a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
Girls' dreams: OMG, my crush kissed me!
Boys' dreams: I just got a dub, bro!
What is cold and alone?
An orphan's parent.
A donut and depression are the same. Both have nothing in the middle, and the other is nothing is left if you leave it for too long.
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?
"Adopt Me."
NASA found water on Mars.
Mars - 1
Africa - 0
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
Why can't orphans be criminals?
Because they're not wanted.
What were my final words to Putin before I put a bullet through his head?
Answer: Putin, put out!
This year I'm going to name my Christmas tree Amy Winehouse, because when it dies it will leave needles all over the living room.
Tell someone that you're gonna say “I 1 poopoo” and it will go in order of numbers, so they say, “I 2 poopoo” & so on:
You) I 1 poopoo
(Them) I 2 poopoo
(You) I 3 poopoo
(Them) I 4 poopoo
(You) I 5 poopoo
(Them) I 6 poopoo
(You) I 7 poopoo
(Them) I 8 poopoo
And be like, “You ate poopoo??! EWW!!”
I was digging a hole in my garden, then I found a treasure chest. I was so happy. I went to tell my wife, but then I remembered why I was digging a hole.