Worst Jokes Ever
If a man and a woman need a marriage license to get married, does a lesbian couple need a liquor license to get married?
Q. What do you call a biracial kid in a vegetative state?
A. A mixed vegetable.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
If your parachute fails midair, remember, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Go to soyjak.party for the funniest memes and soyjaks.
Why did Santa stop at three ho's?
Ms. Claus caught him.
109 countries can't be wrong. Watch Europa: The Last Battle.
I was going to make a bulimia joke, but suddenly it just felt so empty.
Tonight, I picked up an anorexic prostitute.
It was really easy because she was only about 90 pounds.
What do you call a man in a wheelchair with no legs?
Geo dude.
Obese is the N-word for fat people.
Why do French people eat snails?
Because they don’t like fast food.
What do the Twin Towers and genders have in common?
There used to be two, but now it's a sore subject.
I played the Angry Birds theme while watching a 9/11 documentary.
What do women and pools have in common?
They both cost a lot of money to maintain for the amount of time you’re inside of them.
Women have eggs and milk in them...
And they say that they don't belong in the kitchen.
Dog toys are getting out of control.
My mum's dog has a round bison bone.
Looks like he was chewing on Tracy Latimer's hip or something.
I locked Terri Schiavo in the freezer.
Hey, I thought that's where you were supposed to put vegetables!
Why can you rub a dog's nose in their pee when they go on the carpet but when I do the same to an Alzheimer's patient I get fired from the nursing home?
A boy sat in his bed, watching a meteor shower. He was a vengeful child and wished that his parents would no longer bother him whilst he was gaming.
The next morning, he woke up to find his mother had passed away in the night. Clearly his wish had worked. However, his father worked a midnight job, and as such the boy was very confused when he returned home from work, expecting him to have met the same fate.
The two of them then looked out the window in thought, only to find the milkman lying dead on the pavement.