Worst Jokes Ever
Suicide is just self-defense. You're killing the person that tried to kill you.
What meds do snakes with ADHD take?
Adder-all.
KFC proudly presents the kid fryer meal where our fillets are made out of kids. 😎 1 like = more kids in our fryer.
We should stop being mean to orphans.
We should be cruel instead.
What do you call a pregnant slave?
Buy 1 get 1 free.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they can't get a home run.
What's the difference between me and Bill Cosby?
I haven't been caught.
Zelensky: I'm begging for Russian forces to withdraw from the whole of Ukraine.
Putin: Crimea river.
Q: What did the late cannibal get when he got to the party?
A: A cold shoulder.
What did the pencil say to the sharpener? Please grind me!
Man: I must confess, Father.
Priest: What are you here to confess?
Man: I hit my wife and blamed her for what happened to our son.
Priest: And what happened to your son?
Man: He said a man raped him.
Priest: When and where did this happen?
Man: A local church. I don't know which one.
Priest: ...By whom?
Man: A priest, he said. He said the priest had black hair and blue eyes, kind of like you.
Priest: ...Shit
What's an orphan's second favorite movie?
Home Alone 2.
Yep, this happens when you play G.T.A., good God!
A husband and wife at custody court. The judge looks sternly at the ex-wife.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child?"
Ex-wife: "I brought him into this world, so I should have custody of him."
Judge: "That is a simple yet good reason."
Then the judge looks toward the ex-husband.
Judge: "Why do you think you deserve custody of the child, sir?"
The ex-husband thought long and hard about his response. After a brief moment of silence, he replies, "If I put money into a Pepsi machine and a Pepsi comes out, is it mine or the machine's?"
Use the roast I put of flat earth.
Q: Why did Bill Cosby get away with it?
A: Because the women were all Cosby-ing for it!
Mom: Quit making suicidal jokes!
Me: Don't worry, it will all be over soon, Mom!
Mom: ❓❓❓
What does a pedophile mostly pound on a piano?
A minor.