Worst Jokes Ever
An Asian went to bed at 9:00, woke up at 6. People say he's still sleeping.
What's similar between a blind kid and an orphan?
They both can't see their parents.
An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.
After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a cigar?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Then u can't have a cigar." Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, "Grandpa, can I have a beer?" The old man asks, "Son, can your dick touch your asshole?" The young boy says no. "Well, then u can't have a beer."
Another 20 minutes passes and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.
The old man asks, "Son, can I have some of your chips?" The boy asks, "Well, Grandpa, can your dick touch your asshole?" The old man says, "It sure can." The boy says, "Well good, then go fuck yourself, these are my chips."
What's the difference between COVID and 9/11?
I've never heard of someone dying in a car accident, and the media blaming it on 9/11.
Hey, people don't fly with suicide jokes.
In fact, they hang with them!
"Dad? What's dark humor?" "See that man with no arms over there, son, tell him to clap." "But daddy, I'm blind."
Do you want to know my motto when I’m bored?
Punch an orphan, who is he going to tell, his mom?
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Your mom's hot.
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Why do orphans not know if they're lactose intolerant?
Because their dad never came back with milk.
What do Helen Keller and orphans have in common?
Neither of them can see or hear their parents.