Worst Jokes Ever
So, a woman gives birth to a child, and the doctor grabs it by the leg and holds it upside down. Then, he starts swinging it around the room, slamming it into the furniture. The mother tries to get up and starts screaming and crying, “Let my baby go, you sick bastard!” The doctor looks at the mother and stops swinging the baby. He is holding it by the left leg and starts chuckling, “I’m just kidding, it was already dead.”
Why are orphans so happy on Christmas? Because they might get a family.
What do you never say to gay people?
IF YOUR HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS! 🤣🤣🤣🏳️🌈
People: The Titanic is unsinkable!
Iceberg: Challenge accepted.
People on 1912: This ship is unsinkable, even God himself couldn’t destroy it.
God: Ok, bet, where’s my icebergs?
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
Because they can’t run home.
Stephen Hawking said he wants other physicists to follow in his footsteps.
Do they call it rapeseed oil because it is lube?
Poultry rape is no joke. It is God's gift to those who want a laugh.
What do you call a rich Chinese child?
"Ching Ching..."
When I saw someone jump out of one of the towers, I yelled, "Do a flip!"
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to go to.
"Hey Kels, what's on your arm?"
"Oh, that was the cat."
"We don't have a cat..."
"Oh..."
What's the difference between red wings and old cassette tape players?
One eats tape while the other eats pussy.
Q: What is Germany's favorite board game?
A: Nahtzee (Yahtzee).
What do you call an autistic My Little Pony?
Twilight Special.
Being a hooker shouldn't be illegal.
It's like having an Airbnb for your dick.
Why is the USA so bad at chess?
Because they already lost the Twin Towers.
I just went on a date with a woman in a wheelchair.
I stood her up, which made her fall for me. At first it was a drag, but now we’re rolling.
Look, Bono is a great guy, but shopping with him is a pain, because he still hasn't found what he is looking for.