Worst Jokes Ever

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."

An orphan can’t ever play Grand Theft Auto V because he can’t get a wanted level.

What’s one thing that an orphan can never get in poker?

A full house.

Orphan: Can I come over?

Girl: Yeah, but you have to bring your parents.

Why are there so many scars and cuts on your arm?

Because it's a battlefield.

What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a shopping bag?

One is dangerous for kids if put on their face, the other one is used to carry groceries.

what is less than 0?

my will to live.

Male Patient: So, I just pull my pants down and bend over for this prostate exam?

Doctor: Yep.

Male Patient: Ok, I'm ready. Hey! That doesn't feel like a finger.

Doctor: Yep, and I'm not even a doctor.

On 9/11, the New Yorks lost to the Jets.

Tried committing suicide last night...

Never doing that shit again, I almost killed myself!

You're so ugly that they faked a whole pandemic just so you can put on a mask to cover that ugly-ass face.

If anyone ever makes a time machine, please make a bunker for Hitler/the Nazis and send them to 2050. I want to see who would die first, future us or them.

Q: Why can't orphans play baseball?

A: They can't run home.

How do sick Mexicans say hello?

"Ebola."

Yo mama so stupid, she brought a spoon to the Super Bowl.

In America, you have Pop-Tarts. We in Germany here have Toastbrot.

Quit making plane jokes. They're just plane wrong.

Dark humor.

Q: Why are orphans so successful? A: Because when they were younger, they got told, "Go big or go home," and only had one option.

Yo mama's so fat, when she wants to take a bath, they need to make more H2O.