Worst Jokes Ever
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When recycling toilet paper, you really need to process the crap out of it.
Conversely, you can recycle a condom quite easily: just turn it inside out and shake the fuck out of it.
In the morning, I become a cereal killer. Stepped on a corn flake.
Then there was the run-in with a pair of orphaned Rice Krispies. Snap. Crackle. No pop.
I've been taken into custody as a cereal offender and am about to be put on trial in Food Court. I fully expect them to sentence me to Life.
What do Diddy and Turkish men have in common?
They both use lots of oil.
When I finished playing my guitar, I noticed an amputee in the crowd not giving me a round of applause.
What's a game a paraplegic kid can't play?
Hopscotch.
I went to help an amputated girl, but she didn't have a hand for me to grab.
Your family is so messed up that they shared one brain cell to have you even exist.
I was looking forward to my date with this paraplegic girl, but she stood me up.
I don't joke about paraplegics; they wouldn't be able to stand up for themselves.
I think someone left trash at the doorstep. Oh, wait, it's your parents dropping you off at the kid's store.
You're more depressing than your own abortion video.
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
If a girl is vegan and she's dating a transgender person, does that mean she's eating fake meat too?
Why do Jews suck at mugging?
Because all they ask for is the spare change in your pockets.
Yo mama's so—oh wait, you don't have one.
How are Jews and potatoes different?
A potato keeps its skin.
Danny just bought a new game from Steam for a penny.
About one hour later, Danny asks his mother: "Mom, I am not able to start the game."
Mom asked, "Why?"
Danny answers: "It says 'Press any key' on the screen, but I can't find an 'Any' button on my keyboard."
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.