Worst Jokes Ever
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
Why do emo kids cost so much?
Because they’re the only people you can scan at the checkout machine.
A couple is on their first date.
Man: How do you feel about sex?
Woman: I like it infrequently.
Man: I see. Is that one word or two?
What’s the difference between Disney+ and P*rnhub?
Disney+ wants you to hate your stepmother.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."
If having sex for money makes you a wh*re, then what does having sex for free make you?
Non-profit wh*reganisation.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
I found a dog outside a store, so I took him home with me.
The dog was standing outside a blind supplies store.
Lynx, where the fuck are you? This is Dagger Jr. (Proof in comments).
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought keeping you was a good idea!
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
I know 5 fat people; you're 4 of them.
What is the difference between Michael Phelps and Hitler?...
Michael Phelps can finish a race.
Why does a queen have more mobility than the king in chess?
Because the board looks like a kitchen floor.
"Lettuce" stop making vegetable puns. We don't carrot all about them and they're not a-peas-ing.
Dagger. This is to get your attention, for Dagger Jr. and I. We'd like to speak with you, and possibly Lynx, if we can find a time to all talk.
How do you know you’re ugly?
If you always get handed the camera for group photos.
Kid #1: You're adopted.
Kid #2: At least they wanted me.
Kid #1: Did your real parents want you?
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"