Worst Jokes Ever

You're so fat, when you jumped, the whole planet wiggled.

What's something that 9/10 people enjoy? A gangbang.

She responds: “See that man over there with no arms? Tell him to clap.”

The kid replies: “But, Mom, I’m blind!”

Mom: “Exactly.”

What’s a kidnapper's favorite shoe brand?

White vans.

There's something on your chin, no, the third one down.

Who hates going to a pizza party?

A weirdough.

Guy 1: How far are we going?

Guy 2: About as far as somebody's miscarriage.

What do you call a person in a wheelchair that lives in Africa?

Dry Vegetable.

America: Saying, "I beg your pardon" in British English is like saying; "What did you say to me you orphaned big forehead shitty ass small dick bitch?"

UK: You Americans are so fucking rude.

America: Oh, I'm SoRrY mIsTeR fAnCy PaNts 👖

Bully: Shut up.

Me: I don't shut up, I grow up, and when I look at you, I throw up.

Your hairline is like Spiderman: far from forehead.

Do you know that foundation called "Autism Speaks"?

No, it screeches.

When an African has a twin, your me??

Once Roblox popped up in my server, be like, "Roblox, what are you doing?"

Me: "What the heck?" Me: "How did I get in your server?"

Roblox: "You've been banned for just cheating!"

Why is the older brother's kid brother that has autism always performing fellatio on his older brother?

Because he wants to find out how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop.

There's a Mexican, Brazilian, and Cuban in a S60. Who's driving?

What is the name of Hellen Keller's dog?

NYAHHH NYAHH NYUUUU NYAAHHHAADUUDU!

What is the difference between Putin and Hitler? Putin no longer supplies gas and Hitler gives it away for free.

What was the most useful tool in the 17th century?

Slaves.

Mate, my wife Susan has kicked me out again, anyone got a lift?