I know why Asian's eyes are always closed. It's because Americans are so fat and ugly.
Worst Jokes Ever
A guy told a beautiful girl, "Hey, I want to make love to you. If I throw $2000 when you go to pick it up, that's when I'll go. Is that okay?"
She called her husband, and he said, "Okay, but pick it up fast so he doesn't have time to pull his pants down."
Four hours later, she shows up to her house and tells her husband, "THAT FUCKER PAID IN COINS!"
Why does Donald Trump have a fervent crush on the Russian president?
He is Putin his dick where it don't belong!
"What do you want to eat?"
"You choose."
"Children."
"What?"
*Picks up pot*
"You said anything!"
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big, fat blow job.
Why do people from Alabama abhor eating tacos and burritos?
Because their meat has to be in bread.
Why are Alabamians so resentful of immigrants?
They don't want their sons and daughters to have sex with anyone other than their siblings or relatives.
How Chinese is COVID? About the same as those red MAGA hats made in China.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Michael Jackson and Kelly Clarkson both did shady stuff to children. Michael Jackson said that there is nothing wrong with sharing a bed with unrelated small children. Kelly Clarkson said that there is nothing wrong with physically beating a small child.
The thing is, though, only one of them made "Billie Jean" or "Beat It", and the other is just a typical karaoke country singer. So no surprise people gave Wacko Jacko a pass.
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
Why was Wacko Jacko willing to write a song for the film Free Willy?
He thought that the film's title was a nice phrase to yell out in primary school playgrounds.
What does your mom say when she is working?
Nothing, it's rude to talk with your mouth full.
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball? Glock, glock.
What's the difference between a dead person and a walkie-talkie?
A dead person does not walkie or talkie.
What's Michael Jackson got in common with Santa?
They both empty their sacks around children.
What's your mom and a dog got in common?
Both will lick dick if you put peanut butter on it.
Alcoholics don't run in my family, they drive!
What’s the similarities between a pillow and your mom?
They’re both in my bed.
Why don't parents get school shooting jokes? They're aimed at a younger audience.
