Worst Jokes Ever

Abortion is a difficult topic for me.

On one hand I support it because it kills children.

On the other hand, it gives women a choice.

What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?

Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.

Why do dolphins live in salt water?

Because pepper water would make them sneeze!

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.

Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.

With their brother.

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.

He said he couldn't complain.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

Why can't you kill a hooker?

Because they're dead inside anyway.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.