Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a disabled orphan?

A left over vegetables.

Y'all heard of Poptarts, eh?

Well why are there no Momtarts?

Because of the PASTRYarchy!

What's the difference between me and my mate...

I left my dad, while hers left with their friend Cancer.

Why do orphans cause trouble at school?

So the teachers will call their parents.

An Aboriginal Australian told me that I was on his farmland.

So I told him he was on my cock.

(I'm Australian btw, respect to my American bros🇺🇸)

Slavery is like Pokémon, you gotta catch them all.

What do you call a disabled kid's sweat?

VEGETABLE OIL!

What'd the farmer say when a coyote killed and ate his rooster?

"No, you ate my cock!"

What did the farmer say when he saw his chicken cross the road?

"No, my cock!"

A girl called me ugly.

So I drove over her with a car and called her flat.

What's the difference between someone with dystonia and someone with misophonia?

One makes the annoying noises, while the other hates the annoying noises.

What do the initials "MAD" stand for?

Mothers Against Democrats.

A disabled kid kept throwing up in class.

So I threw him out the window!

I love all races, even the bad ones.

Q. What's the difference between Trump and a Teletubby?

A. The Teletubby is a lot more coherent.

How was copper wire invented?

Two Jewish people fighting over a penny.

What’s the difference between chocolate and people?

You can’t buy people nowadays.

My great grandfather died in 9/11.

He was such a good pilot.

There is a Mexican, white guy, a Jew, and a Black man on top of the Empire State Building.

First, the Mexican and the Jew throw themselves off of the building saying, "This is for my people!"

Then the Black man is next up to jump and says, "This is for my people!"

And throws the White man off of the building.

House parties are like churches: there's always an underage kid getting fucked somewhere.