My mom asked, "Why are you so depressed? It could be worse. You could be Tracy Latimer."
I replied, "I wish I were Tracy Latimer because then someone would kill me."
Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between Kelly Clarkson and a Florida real estate agent?
A Florida real estate agent screws over seniors, Kelly Clarkson screws little children.
Why are Muslims not fond of American cops?
Because Muslims don't like pigs!
How do you know the baby's dead? The dog plays with it more.
Why did the baby cross the road? The car seat wasn’t strapped in.
What is the number one song played in Columbine High? Smells Like Teen Spirit.
What's the difference between Jedi and a rapist?
Nothing, they both use the Force to get what they want.
What has 4 hairy legs and fucks my sister?
Me & my dad!
What's the difference between a Palestinian and a redneck?
At least the redneck was drunk when he married his cousin.
What do you call a space Muslim?
A Tusken Raider.
If being sexy were a crime, you better lock me up.
Not because I'm sexy, but because I have 5 dead children in my basement.
How do you start a school shooting at a black school?
Call the cops.
Don't do suicide shit. Nearly killed me, tbh. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
What do you call an orange on a small stick?
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump is proud of being white, which is strange, considering he's orange. Makes you wonder why he didn't pull a Michael Jackson and bleach his own skin....
Why is the bottom of the sea so dark?
Because Black people can’t swim.
What do you call a depressed a cappella group?
Self-Harmony.
A rapist, pedophile, and a priest walk into a bar. He orders a beer.
Same person.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
What’s green and yellow and eats at your nuts?
Gonorrhea.
