Worst Jokes Ever

Q. What's the difference between Donald Trump and orange Jello?

A. The Jello has a higher IQ.

My cousin said he wonders why people have sex with animals, and now I can’t stop thinking about it.

Ol’ McDonald had a farm e-I-e-I-oh.

What is the difference between a nun and a prostitute?

One says, "God is my father." The other says, "Who's the father and who is my son?"

Q: What's black and white and red all over?

A: The U.S. in 1919!

What do you call a black man in the army in camo? Incogneggo.

If a Jewish kid has ADHD, do they get sent to a concentration camp?

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. What the fuck are you mad at me for? My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

Mom: Go clean your room, Little Johnny.

Little Johnny: No, it’s my room.

Mom: Well, it’s my house.

Little Johnny: Then go clean it.

Mom: Go to school!

At school:

Teacher: Hi, Little Johnny. You’re late.

Little Johnny: Watch because my son of a bitch mom told me to clean her room. I told her no, it’s my room, and then she said, 'Well, it’s my house.' Then I said, 'Go clean it,' and then she told me to go to school.

Teacher: Johnny, go to the principal’s office! You just came into school and now you're causing trouble. Go!

Somebody told me that black slang is just white slang in reverse. For example:

White person: Dad, you're home!

Black person: Dad?

White person: You can keep the change.

Black person: Empty the register.

Explain bear.

This bitch got mad at me because I couldn’t last four strokes. My grandpa didn’t even survive one.

How do you know if a Black woman is pregnant?

Stick a chicken wing up there.

Why do you wrap a hamster in duct tape?

So it doesn’t explode when you’re fucking it.

What do you say to a woman in a wheelchair with no arms or legs?

"Nice tits."

Water was found on Mars.

Mars: 1 Africa: 0

I actually want peace, not war.

That's what I always try reminding my girlfriend before beating her up.

Unless Israel wants to become Hell Aviv, it would put itself on a tight leash, delivered specially from Uncle Sam.

Why is there air conditioning in hospitals?

To keep the vegetables cold and fresh.

My grandad and your hairline go way back.

You can’t say “dwarf” anymore; you have to say “little people”.

You can’t say “fat”; you have to say “plus size”.

You can’t say “retard”; you have to say “democrat”.