Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."
I think my family is racist.
I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.
Why do witches wear name tags?
So they know which witch is which!
Q. What's a necrophiliac's favorite dating site? A. Find a Grave.
If a pregnant emo kills herself, is that murder-suicide or just abortion?
How do you tell an Indian person from a Muslim?
Are you 7/11 or 9/11?
The interviewer asked me if I had a criminal record when I was requesting Australian citizenship.
I replied, "No. Is that still required?"
Q. What does a slutty mermaid get? A. Crabs.
Why doesn't Jesus participate in Battle Raps?
All his comebacks take three days.
Hey, guy, you suck! Why do I suck? Because you're the one that's sucking juice out of a straw.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I'd say my biggest weakness is listening.
Leave a man on a plane, and he flies for a day.
Throw a man off a plane, and he flies for the rest of his life.
I think one of my dads might be gay.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Yo mama!
Why did Marxism never catch on in England?
Because then it would be impossible to get proper tea.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Luke.
Luke who?
Luke through the keyhole and you’ll see.
Yo Momma so hairy, she has to shampoo her armpits.
What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?
The washer doesn't take loads for free.
What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio? "Lie to me."
What does the blind man say when he walks past the fish market?
"Hello, ladies!"