A husband comes home from work one day, and his wife is watching the Food Network. The husband asks, "Why do you watch that? You still can’t cook," and the wife responds, "Why do you watch porn? You still can’t fuck."
Worst Jokes Ever
A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”
What did Tupac's homies smoke? His ashes.
It would've been too tacky to take a shot in his memory.
What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil?
I've never had a lentil on my face.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common: they should both be changed regularly... and for the same reason.
Trump and Biden didn’t get the memo.
Scientists have proven that there are two things in the air that have been known to cause women to get pregnant: their legs.
America Twin Tower: "Hey, have you seen the Malaysian Twin Tower? I have, but only from 1971 to 2001."
Malaysian Twin Tower: "I STOOD LONGER!"
A guy and girl had a sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I know the length of yours, but you won't know the depth of mine."
What is red and cries and spins around and around?
- A baby in a microwave.
Don’t be racist. Racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
What is common with dark humor and unvaccinated kids?
Neither do ever grow old.
What's the difference between yo mama and a fat ugly pig? - I never fucked that fat ugly pig...
Yo mama is so ugly, when she got raped, the rapist was the one getting PTSD!
How do you get a dog to stop humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck its dick.
What are three things you can't give a black guy?
A fat lip, a black eye, and a job.
What's the difference between a Palestinian and SpongeBob's Sandy Cheeks?
One is living in a bubble, the other one in rubble.
Why are Palestinian boys so eager to grow a beard?
So they can use their mum's ID to get in the club.
What's so special about Palestinian sex dolls?
They blow themselves up.
What's the difference between yo mama and German men?
The balls... German men don't have them.
What is blonde, has six legs, and roams Michael Jackson’s dreams every night?
Hanson.
