Worst Jokes Ever

I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.

I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."

Unfortunately, I had bad luck and faced infidelity.

Picture this: the bedroom door opens and I see my girlfriend in bed with two men...

I didn’t expect her to come back so early.

Why is 10 afraid?

Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.

I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.

He said he couldn't complain.

I thought when my friends called me curvy, it was a compliment, but it turns out they were referring to my spine.

I regret my abortion.

I didn’t know child labor was an option.

American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"

Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."

Why can't you kill a hooker?

Because they're dead inside anyway.

Hi, my name is Meer Adnan Hussain. I am a Muslim. I live in Karachi, an area of Pakistan. I want this job. I am interested in this work. Please take me in this work. Your porn star, Meer Adnan Hussain. Wait for your email. Okay.

What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?

I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!

I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.

Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.

Why are there more female history teachers than male?

Because women like to bring up the past.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What’s the best part about stage four cancer?

There’s no stage five.

Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.

I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."

My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."

I think my family is racist.

I brought a black girl home, and my wife went crazy and told me to pack my bags, and my kids were upset.

Why do witches wear name tags?

So they know which witch is which!