Worst Jokes Ever
One day I was walking next to a homeless man, and he was eating grass. I asked him if he was hungry. He said yes. I said, "Follow me." You should have seen his face when I showed him my backyard!
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims. They went through 67 stories in 0.67 milliseconds.
Who’s stronger in a relationship, a man or a woman? A woman, because it takes six men to carry him to his grave; it only takes one woman to put him there.
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.