Worst Jokes Ever
Abortion is a difficult topic for me.
On one hand I support it because it kills children.
On the other hand, it gives women a choice.
What's the difference between vitiligo and plastic surgery?
Vitiligo doesn't alter facial features.
Why do dolphins live in salt water?
Because pepper water would make them sneeze!
I saw an advertisement for colored pens and how they write. They take a blue pen and write "blue," a yellow pen and write "yellow." I was inspired too.
I took a pen, filled it with my blood, and wrote "AIDS."
It’s not cheating if you’re all siblings.
Our Human Services Minister is just mad because his wife cheated on him 20 years ago.
With their brother.
Why is 10 afraid?
Because it’s in the middle of 9/11.
I asked my North Korean friend how it is to live there.
He said he couldn't complain.
I regret my abortion.
I didn’t know child labor was an option.
American soldier: "Did you come here to die?"
Australian soldier: "Nah mate, I came 'ere yesterdie."
Why can't you kill a hooker?
Because they're dead inside anyway.
What do you say to an upset Down syndrome person?
I'd ask what's up, but it's definitely not you!
What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?
Special head.
I hooked up with my German girlfriend. It was really distracting when she kept saying her age.
Why should you always give an emo a high five in the hallway? You can’t leave them hanging.
Why are there more female history teachers than male?
Because women like to bring up the past.
What’s the best part about stage four cancer?
There’s no stage five.
Why do American guns only have 30 rounds in the clip? Because that’s the average class size.
I got fired from my paramedic job on the first day. I told an eight-year-old who lost his leg in a car accident to "walk it off."
My girlfriend died in Tokyo during a tsunami. I was sad, but my friend told me, "Don't worry, there are plenty more in the ocean."