Worst Jokes Ever
The president of the USA is so damn stupid. His mother must have taken Tylenol while she was pregnant with him, or something.
What is the difference between a male prostitute who is a Democrat and a male prostitute who is a Republican?
When Republicans perform fellatio for money, it is called prostitution, but when Democrats perform fellatio for money, it is called a donation to their political campaign.
Is it possible to stutter in sign language?
Yes, it’s called Parkinson’s.
How do you know you broke into a gay man’s house?
They only have a back door.
Q. What's the Premier of Alberta's favorite sex toy? A. I don't know, but I wish it were me.
A fat person with autism is a bit like decent sunscreen... A broad spectrum.
If a prostitute is celebrating her birthday, does she get a hoecake?
How do you trick a camel jockey into drinking a bottle of watermelon schnapps?
Pour watermelon seeds into a bottle of watermelon schnapps.
Q. What does Michael Jackson get his sex partners as a gift?
A. Crayons.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What's the difference between a six-year-old and a submarine?
I've never been inside a submarine.
I was at my grandparents' and saw someone breaking into a car. I told my grandpa, "He's trying to break into the car!" He said, "No, ours is in the garden."
You're like a stormy cloud, because once you go away, it's a nice day.
How do you blind an Irish woman?
You put a bottle of Scotch in front of her.
What is the definition of confusion?
Three blind lesbians in a fish market.
Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg?
He's all right.
I got hired to work as a camp counselor for kids with ADHD, but I got fired. I guess I shouldn't have introduced myself with "Welcome to concentration camp".
Did you hear about the guy who got fired for having sex with his clients?
He was a great veterinarian.
Did you hear about the woman who broke up with the man who had a small penis?
When his friends ask how he’s doing, he said, “I wasn’t that into her.”
I should probably stop making jokes about bulimia. They just leave a bad taste in my mouth.