Worst Jokes Ever
If you jump off a bridge while crying, it's suicide, but if you jump off a bridge while screaming "parkour," it's a failed stunt.
Two Native Americans
Unwittingly walk into a gay bar and sit down to order a pitcher of beer. As they're sitting there sucking back on their ale, a gay guy walks up and says, "How would you boys like a blow job?"
The one Indian stands up and decks the guy, knocking him unconscious. He then sits back down and finishes his beer.
His buddy looks over and says, "Hey Joe, what did you do that for?"
Joe replies, "Not sure but it was something about getting a job!"
Ever heard of a rape victim with Alzheimer's?
Yeah, neither have they.
What's red and green and goes 100 miles per hour? A frog in a blender.
The 3 life rules:
1.
2.
3.
Oh, there are no rules, because you have no life.
What do Phillip Adam and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.
Easy way to get away from rape is to become the rapist. All women need to carry a 12-inch dildo and a gun!
What's the difference between my dad and cancer?
My dad didn't beat cancer.
You're so fat, you have more chins than a fat Chinese with heaps of chins!
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That’s a big word for a six-year-old.
Today, I asked my phone, "Siri, why am I still single?" and it activated the front camera.
Why do boys feel safer at Ronald McDonald's House than Neverland Ranch?
Ronald McDonald's doesn't put his meat between boys' buns.
What is the difference between Betty White and Paul Walker?
Betty didn’t reach 100 before she died.
What do you call a group of emo kids?
The suicide squad.
Two simple steps to get 15,000 people to follow you:
Step 1: Buy a bottle of water (doesn't matter the size).
Step 2: Run through Africa with that bottle of water.
Perfect! Now you got yourself half the population there following you!
Your mum is so fat that when she wore a yellow coat people called taxi!
What do emo kids and bats have in common?
They both hang from trees.
Jack and Jill went up the hill each with a buck and a quarter. Jill came down with $2.50 and Jack came down smiling.
Knock knock... Who's there? It's Jesus, let me in... Why? I have to save you... From what? From what I'm gonna do to you if you don't let me in.
Where did Lucy go after the bombing?
Everywhere.