Worst Jokes Ever
My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.
Why has Stephen Hawking stopped playing hide and seek with his wife? Because she keeps using a metal detector.
A pedophile is chatting on the internet: "On a scale of one to ten, how old are you?"
What do you call an alligator with a vest?
An investigator.
Why can't blind people eat fish?
Because it's sea food.
What is Beethoven doing now?
Decomposing.
They say watching child porn will get me 20 years in jail. I prefer to think of it as two 10-year-olds.
Why do women rub their eyes in the morning?
Because they don't have balls.
Why are Trump's ties so long?
Because they go all the way to Russia.
Have you ever tried North Korean food?
Neither have the North Koreans.
Trump is going too far.
He deported a printer because it didn't have papers.
What's the definition of trust?
Two cannibals giving each other blowjobs.
Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new piano?
Neither has he.
What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?
Stop and apply lubrication.
What's the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
What's the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
Snowballs.
Why was the guitar teacher arrested?
For fingering a minor.
Why is leather armor better for sneaking than steel armor?
Leather armor is made of hide.
Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day.
Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
What do Michelangelo and Kurt Cobain have in common?
They both used their brains to paint the ceiling.