Worst Jokes Ever
To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.
What do you get when the queen farts a noble gas?
What do you get when a dino farts? A blast from the past.
Why are ninja farts so dangerous? They are silent but deadly.
I had a dog with an eating disorder.
He wouldn’t eat any of my homework.
Why can't homosexuals get car insurance?
They've been rear-ended too many times.
I'm not a chef, but boy, are these days getting harder and harder to get through.
What do you call an athlete who injured 75% of his spine?
A quarterback.
What is an orphan's favorite event? Homecoming.
Why do a pedophile love Halloween?
Free delivery.
How do you know your Dad's been fucking your sister?
His dick tastes funny...
This is the true worst joke ever:
What did the person say to the other guy when he met him?
Hi!
When Bubba's condom broke, he spent a lot of sleepless nights wondering if he was going to be an uncle or a dad.
What do you call a racist crow?
Jim.
The worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades.
When I die, I want my body to be cremated.
And fucked! Fucked really hard, papí!! Like a real whore!! Like a real tramp!! Stuff your entire cock in there!!! Uhh!! Uhh!!
What show does an orphan hate?
Family Guy.
There are plenty more fish in the sea is the last thing you should say to a necrophiliac.
Teacher: Describe a penguin.
Student: Black, white, beak.
Teacher: Good, now describe an orphan.
Student: Sad, maybe depressed, no family.
Teacher: Amazing, now describe a cow.
Student: Brown bun hair, red shirt, white skirt, pantyhose, and dollar tree shoes.
Teacher: No! How does that describe a cow?
Student: It describes you tho.
Note to self.
When baking for the holidays, don't Google "creampies".
Google "cream pie recipes".
Why did the moron throw his clock out the window?
The clocks reminded him of Richard Clock, the convict who knife-raped his wife.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Me.