A fat homeless person begged me for food, so I said, "I can see your dinner. You had plenty!"
Worst Jokes Ever
I don’t understand why Christians are so against body piercings. Didn’t Jesus have four?
Why do Black people go to a confession stand at the Catholic Church?
They wanna know what it’s like to speak to a father.
What do you call a gay drive-by?
A fruit roll up.
Well, I was gonna make a joke about drunk people, but that would be good for the health.
“Dad, can you explain to me what a solar eclipse is?”
No sun.
Why was 10 so scared? Because he was in the middle of 9/11.
It was women driving the planes for 9/11.
Why is it a bad idea to eat a clock? Because it's so time-consuming.
I told a kid in a wheelchair that he should use his rocket league booster.
There are 206 bones in the human body.
207 when I'm at a nursery.
Me: Are you an orphan?
Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?
Me: Where's your parents?
Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?
Me: Because it has a home button.
How do you know when a fat person stops eating? You read about it in the obituary.
What’s the difference between weed and pussy?
If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.
What does a gynecologist and delivery driver have in common?
Whenever they’re hungry, they can just scrape a little cheese off the top of the box.
Why can’t Americans play chess?
They lost 2 towers.
Why can’t orphans have phones?
Because it has a home button!
Why are orphans so bad at baseball?
Because they can’t get a home run.
What song do supportive parents of a closeted child love?
“The Son Will Come Out Tomorrow.”
Being the first to move in chess.
It’s a white privilege.
