Worst Jokes Ever
Man: Can you be my girlfriend?
Woman: I'm lesbian, sorry.
Man: Oh, here's your rope.
What are chocolate's preferred gender pronouns?
Her-she.
I don't like making 9/11 jokes because every joke about 9/11 I make has a tendency to crash and burn.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.”
4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river.
6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils.
7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope.
8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves.
9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match.
10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee.
11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”).
12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted.
13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff.
14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat.
15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball.
16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing.
17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Why can’t you play games with cats? Because they always ‘cheetah’.
Why should you be friends with emos? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off, and when it expires, they get rid of themselves.
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
She left, and now I support women's rights. I will kill her.
*Coughs roughly* Oh my God, it hurts so much. I can't see. It burns! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! Help!!! *Weakly*
Michael Jackson goes to his favorite bakery and says to the workers, "This is my favorite baker, hehe."
Why aren't apple chargers called apple juice? Also, how do you throw away trash cans?
I asked my class what comes before 47. Everyone said 46, except for the quiet kid who said, "AK."
When you name yourself Twin Towers and Terrorist in Kahoot:
"Twin Towers" is on fire🔥
"Terrorist" is on a streak of 2.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
Add me on Discord! @ moon💕#9999
What's the difference between a Mexican and a frog?
One jumps in ponds, the other leaps over the border. :)
Son: Why is my sister’s name Paris?
Dad: Because we conceived her in Paris.
Son: Thanks, Dad.
Dad: No problem, Quarantine.
playing irl fruit ninja on my arm.
Why do emo people go to the store with no money?
Because they just scan their bar code and get everything free.
A wild Iceberg appears. Go Titanic! Titanic uses Headbutt. The attack misses. Titanic faints.