Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

I swear, in America, one school shooter can take good care of hundreds of kids, but hundreds of soldiers can't even win a war. Might as well send all your school shooters over there.

  • 4

    • Why do US suck at chess? We lost both our towers.

    Why is England so good at chess? They still have their queen.

    Why does Russia suck at chess? They only have pawns.

    They found water on Mars. Mars:1 Africa:0

    What do you get when you put a suicide bomber in a wheel chair? An RC-XD.

    What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? Orphans don't get picked.

  • 2

    • A customer asked me to look at their hairline. I time traveled back to the dinosaurs.

    Josh: What’s the useless piece of skin around the vagina called?

    Daniel: Isn’t it the women?

    Josh: Oh yes, that’s right.

  • 4

    • Bible Verse of The Day - For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children.

    —Romans 8:15-16

    These people who are offended by rape jokes don’t even understand humor. They think of humor as like a happy thing because humor makes us laugh and laughter makes us happy, but most of the jokes that we laugh at are filled with pain and suffering. If I take a joke like, how many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. Now that joke isn’t making light of the fact that people have marched in the civil rights movement and people have been racially discriminated against. It’s not making light of those, what it’s doing is it’s taking that pain and suffering and making you transcend it for a moment, and showing the absurdity of the human mind, and that is important. Humor at its best takes the bad things in this world that are painful and hard to deal with and makes it something funny.

    And before you go in the comments and say I agree with rape, I don’t. I hope everybody who rapes someone to have their dick cut off. My little sister got fucking raped when she was six, and the guy is lucky he got caught by the police and not me, cause if I caught I would have fucking killed him, so I don’t agree with rape, but I still think rape jokes should still not be taken so seriously!

    Things I would have missed if my attempt in 2018 worked...

    My attempts in 2019, 2020, and 2021!

  • 2

    • Jack and Jill went up the hill to get some water. Jill pulled up her dress and said, "Daddy, fuck me harder."

  • 2

    • Little Johnny was playing outside and steps on a honeybee. His dad sees this and says, "I saw what you did and for that, you get no honey for two weeks." Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like honey anyway." About fifteen minutes later, Little Johnny is playing with the butterflies and rips the wings off of one. His dad bursts out and says, "I saw that, and for it you get no butter for a month." Little Johnny replies, "I don't care, I don't like butter anyway." Both Little Johnny and his dad go in for dinner. Johnny's mother sees a cockroach on the ground and steps on it. Little Johnny looks and smiles and says, "Do you want to tell her or should I?"

  • 8

    • "Jack and Jill run up the hill to have sex but in a text a sibling sayed I’m on a hill sleeping with a mex. foursome peace love and biches."