Worst Jokes Ever

Don’t panic! Stay c-almond collected.

The nut is so solid, it’s peanut brittle.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

What's the difference between family and cats...

Cats won't abuse you at Christmas.

My granddad killed Hitler.

Baka!

Rape jokes are the funniest thing to ever exist.

Can two high-femme lesbians go on a date with each other?

Yes, but it will take them forever to get ready.

You have more chin than brain cells!

"Among Us" is a game (Skeld) where there is an imposter trying to hijack the ship and kill everyone. Does this sound similar to September 11, 2001?

I went to a park, then I kicked a ball at a kid in a wheelchair, then screamed "Rocket League!"

What's a Mexican's favorite sport?

Cross country.

Every male is expected to pass their driver's test. Paul Walker clearly failed his.

A man went to the library and asked for a book about suicide. The librarian said, "Go away, you won’t bring it back."

What do you get when you cross a road with a stalker?

Raped.

I'd rate the food in Afghanistan a 9/11. That shit was bomb.

Why did Michael Jackson go to the movies? He saw there was minor nudity.

Two Twin Towers topple to terrorists terrorizing twenty to-be-doomed trip takers.

I don't understand why, when I went to the shooting range today, the police came. Like, bro, I always go to elementary schools.

If you're a cat person, never let hungry Chinese into your house. They might just have a snack.