Worst Jokes Ever
When you end up pregnant...
Mom told me if a boy touched my breast I should say "DON'T," and if he touched me down there I should say "STOP." But Dad, he touched me both places at once so I said, "DON'T STOP! DON'T STOP!" 😂
What's strong enough for a man but made for a woman?
The back of my hand.
Mother: Who do you like more, me or your dad?
Liam: I like you both.
Mother: Ok, if I go to america and your dad goes to paris, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to paris.
Mother: That's means you like dad more.
Liam: No, its because i like paris.
Mother: Ok, fine, if I go to paris and your dad goes to america, where will you go?
Liam: I will go to America.
Mother: Why?
Liam: Because I have already gone to paris.
What do you do when you finish a magazine at a hospital?
Reload and keep shooting.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
Want to know why parents don't get school shooting jokes?
Because they are aimed at a younger audience.
What's the difference between drugs and kids?
I don't sell drugs.
Imagine if on April first the government says, "Hahhaha, you all fell for it. Covid-19 is fake; we actually killed all those people, lol."
What is the difference between a rapist and a dictionary?
One of them knows the definition of no.
What is an orphan's favorite beer?
"Fosters."
What do fish take to stay healthy?
Vitamin Sea.
Covid 19 stopped mass shootings faster than the Government.
Kid: "Hey dad, what's dark humor?"
Dad: "Go walk up to that homeless guy and throw a rock at him."
Kid: "But dad, I don't have any legs or arms."
Dad: "Exactly, son."
If a midget walks up to you and tells you your hair smells nice, is that sexual harassment?
What do you call an orphan's family reunion? "Me time."
You got a black cat.
He was bad luck.
Everyone left you and you committed suicide.
What a CATastrophe!
What do you find up a ghost's nose? A BOOger.
What’s the difference between me and Chester Bennington?
I know how to use an exercise band.
Why can’t an orphan get suspended or expelled from school? Because they need to contact parents.
Why do female parachutists have to wear tampons before they jump?
So they don't whistle on the way down!