Worst Jokes Ever
Why does the army take orphans as fighter jet pilots?
Because homing missiles don’t work on them.
Why can't Americans play chess?
Because they're missing two towers.
We all know that Lincoln and Kennedy are the most open-minded presidents in the world.
Like if you have a boyfriend, girlfriend, or husband, or wife, or a crush.
What's Juice Wrld's favorite salad? A seizure salad.
Amber Heard's Morning Routine
Wake Up. Eat Breakfast. Take a Shit. Get Out of Bed.
What do you call a bunch of Muslims in a bath?
A bath bomb.
I have an announcement, Shadow the Hedgehog is a bitch ass motherfucker. He pissed on my fucking wife and he said he dick was this big and I said that's disgusting, so I'm making a callout post on my twitter dot com. Shadow, u got a small dick it looks like this walnut except way smaller.
Hey, did you know that 9/11 won a Grammy?
Yes, best comedy award.
What do you call children born from incest?
Gross Domestic Product.
Why is Santa always so happy? Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.
So I was digging in the garden and I found some treasure. I was gonna tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging in the garden.
Like this if you are in foster care.
Rape jokes like cancer jokes or AIDS jokes are just humorous wordplay. If you don't agree, send me your details, and we'll see if you prefer actual rape to a harmless rape joke... YOU SAD SACKS OF HUMORLESS SHIT MUNCHERS!
Like this if you have ever had a family member die.
Therapist: So what brought you here today?
Wife: He's too literal.
Therapist: And you, sir?
Husband: My truck.
Why are pedophiles good at playing guitar?
Because they are good at fingering A minor.
What did the Chinese couple name their retarded baby?
Sum Ting Wong.
One day Timmy walks in on his mum in the bath. Then he asks, “What’s that dark fuzzy thing, mummy?” and mum said, “It’s a bush, every girl has one!” Then the next day he walks in on his dad in the shower. So he asks, “Daddy, what’s that long thing?” The dad then says, “It’s a sexy boy” accidentally. Timmy asks his dad, “What does sexy mean?” And the dad says, “Your mother, of course,” making it seem like a child-friendly compliment. Then the next day at school Timmy wanted to compliment his teacher. He walks up to her and says, “You’re so so sexy!”
The Nazis.