Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

I know a good airplane joke, but it would probably go over your heads.

The twin towers: No, it won't.

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    • A proud new dad sits down with his own father.

    His father says, "Son, you now have a child of your own, so I think it's time I gave you this." And so, he pulls out a book: 1001 Dad Jokes.

    The young man says, "Dad, I'm honored," as tears well up in his eyes.

    His father says, "Hi, Honored, I'm Dad."

    Once i was walking along the beach and there was a girl with no arms or legs there, i walked by and she said excuse me, will you touch me ive never been touched before, i was like okay so i touched her, i kept on walking along and there was the same girl, she said sir will you kiss me, i went alright so i went up and kissed her, i thought that was weird but anyway i kept walking along and there she was again, she said sir will you fuck me? I went okay so i picked her up and threw her in the ocean and went YOUR FUCKED NOW

    I was playing Mortal Kombat with my friend when he picked the fighter Pristiano Penaldo. I won and the voice didn't say "Finish him," so I couldn't do a fatality.

    I was confused, but I understood that the game didn't let me finish him because he is already finished.

    I have double standards: burn a body at a crematorium and you're being a respectful friend; do it at home and you're destroying evidence.

    I was working for Space X. I was instructed to control a satellite's orbit rotation when suddenly the screen went black. I investigated and found out one of Penaldos penalty had hit and destroyed the satellite. Shame on you Penaldo for ruining my dream job!

    If you hit a child, that's child abuse.

    If you hit a family member, that's abuse.

    If you kill either, it's murder for some reason.

    If it's a whole family, it's genocide for another reason.

    What do you call someone who hates rape jokes? An ugly feminist that couldn't get a cock in her mouth.

    Why did the policeman rape the woman? Because he thought rapists wouldn't be attracted to non-virgins.

    Women be like, "Porn is how we get money," then get angry when boys treat women like shit because they seen it on porn.

    At the age of 100, you get a letter from the Queen. At 12, you get a DM from Prince Charles.

    Yeah man, you watch Pornhub, and you have premium too, but at least I don't need Premium to see your mom in bed.

    "Disease" technically means "lack of ease," so if a girl is hard to get, call her a disease.

    That's what Elliot Rodger did.