Worst Jokes Ever

I got banned from the library for putting a book about woman's rights in the fantasy section.

Oh well, I.H.N.! I.H.N.!! I.H.N.!!!

I was gonna roast you about your chin, but I didn't know which one to talk about.

Hey, are you a terrorist? 'Cause I rate you 9/11.

How many police officers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. They just beat the room for being black.

Is it necrophilia if they die while you're having sex and you just don't realize?

That's what happened to my dog.

The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.

What was the Twin Towers favorite game? Jenga.

Your mummy so skinny, she can't eat!

Let's play pretend. I'll be Nike and you'll be McDonald's, cuz I'll be doin' it and you'll be lovin' it.

September 11th. #BringYourPlaneToWorkDay

Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction after eating 12-year-old nuts.

One morning a dad was sitting and watching TV. His daughter comes in and says, "Dad! Why is my name Rose?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were born a rose petal fell on your head." "Cool," Rose said.

The second daughter walked in and said, "Dad! Why is my name Daisy?" He replied, "Oh! It's because when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Awesome," Daisy said.

The third daughter came in and said, "DuUuBuDuRDeEDeRdUuUuU!!!" "SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!!!"

I knew a girl that died from having phone sex... She died of hearing aids.

What's the same about a newborn and a football?

You can kick them both very easily.

What does a plug do when he's horny?

He jacks off!

Why does Michael Jackson like twenty-eight year olds?

'Cause there are twenty of them.

If raping someone is sexual harassment, then is raping a rapist inverted harassment?

What if Flappy Bird was with the Twin Towers?

One time Michael Jackson had an allergic reaction from eating 12-year-old nuts.