Worst Jokes Ever
I can see my future in your forehead.
How did the rape victim on a diet lose 21 grams?
She died.
What's the quickest way to get money besides winning the lottery?
Leaving your son with Michael Jackson.
What do parents tell little boys to make them behave?
"Be good, or when you're asleep, Michael Jackson will get you!"
What's the difference between a submarine and Madeline McCann?
They are both full of seamen and at the bottom of the sea.
A man marries a blonde chick, lives a happy life together, and the man asks his wife if she wants kids. She says "yes".
So, a couple of years go by, and they have one boy and one girl. They go to school, go home with their report cards, and the dad asks what their grades were. The son says he's not doing well, same with the daughter. They ask why they're doing so bad in school, and the dad replies with "ask your mother that question!"
Wanna know why I don’t make suicidal jokes?
Because I am one.
Why don't Indians play soccer?
Because every time they get a corner, they build a shop on it.
What does Michael Jackson and Jeffery Dahmer have in common?
They both enjoy kids' company.
Why do people keep on making jokes about the twin towers?
Because they go down so well.
Person 1: How many people has Michael Jackson fingered?
Person 2: Dunno, what’s the minor population?
So 6 is scared of 7 because 7, 8, 9, but why did 10 have PTSD?
He was stuck in the middle of 9/11.
Your hairline is so far back, it left before your dad.
What do you call a disabled Chinese person?
Sum Ting Wong.
A boy is about to be sentenced for killing his parents. He begs the judge to spare his life. The judge asks for one good reason he should be shown any mercy. The boy replies, "I’m an orphan, your honor."
I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey, but then I turned myself around.
What does an armed bank robbery and Michael Jackson have in common?
Someone gets hurt.
Me: Wanna hear a joke about my chin?
Friend: Nah, dude. It'll be too long.
What do orphans like about tattoos? They stick around.
Women treat me like a god.
They ignore me till they need something.