Worst Jokes Ever

Yo mama so stupid, she tried to stop the Cold War with a heater.

Period blood is like KFC, because it's finger-licking good!

I was watching a documentary about how storks carry babies from their previous life to the next.

In his old life, Michael Jackson must’ve been a teddy bear. The storks let him play with kids for a change.

My mom died when we couldn’t remember her blood type. As she died, she kept telling us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without her.

A lot of people ask why I only make jokes about Paul Walker and no one else.

Because they didn’t have as big of an impact as him.

People: Stop invading Ukraine!

Putin: Ukraine? you mean Mykraine.

The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.

What's the difference between a depressed person and a pizza?

Pizza won't cut itself.

What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

roses are red, unlike the rest, I'm the one who has your IP address.

I saw a Cuban prisoner. I asked, "Why are you running from the cops?" He said, "I'M FREE AT LAST!"

It’s important to establish a good vocabulary. If I had known the difference between the words “antidote” and “anecdote,” one of my best friends would still be alive.

You masturbate...

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

You won't get any Squirtle and Bulbasaur pets.

An Asian walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do you, too, sing 'One Long Toy Cow'?"

The bartender says to the Asian, "Sorry, I don't speak Chinese."

"Hee hee touch my pp."

Joe mama is so fat, Dora can't explore her.

I would roast you, but you don't have any meat!

Joe mama so fat, she fell on both sides of the bed.

I respect cancer more than I respect depression.

At least cancer has the balls to kill you himself.

You heard that Michael Jackson autopsy reports showed he died of food poisoning?

It’s because he ate some 8 year old nuts.