Worst Jokes Ever

There are only 363 days in a year for orphans because Mother's Day and Father's Day don't count.

I got arrested for raping a girl. Its so unfair, i really thought she was dead.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

I kicked a soccer ball at the kid in the wheelchair. Now we're playing Rocket League.

What's the difference between a grape, an apple, and an arm? You don't slice a grape.

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

Why did the chickens cross the road?

To get to KFC.

Bro, stop. You guys are saying the same jokes over and over. If you're gonna tell a 9/11 joke, just go laugh about the Great Thumps.

I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.

It didn't land too well.

Any girl can be a squirter if you hit the right artery.

Why do people like dating us emo girls? Because of the texture on our thighs.

How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.

How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.

Screw sister from a mister or brother from another mother. We besties from another testie.

When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I'm taking out the trash, I remember you.

Imagine Michael Jackson having kids? Would they come out Black or white or plastic?

What do Michael Jackson and Tesco carrier bags have in common? They’re both made out of plastic and harmful to children.

Why do kids like Michael Jackson so much?

Because he's made out of plastic, and that's what toys are made out of! 😂

What did Santa Claus bring Michael Jackson for Christmas? His elves! 😂😂😂

What do Michael Jackson and Pinocchio have in common?

They both lie over little boys 😂