Worst Jokes Ever

Why do they call my dick section 8?

Because all the hoes are on it.

Yo mama so fat, I stood next to her and lost cell phone reception.

Me: Want to play 911?

My little brother: What's that?

Me: It's where I kick your legs and you fall.

What's the difference between Jeffrey Dahmer and an Emo?

They're both gay and use knives.

Why did the transgender girl want to be a boy?

Because momma never raised no pussy.

My mother was so sad after my grandpa's death, she went into the bathroom with my uncle, and I could hear their moans of sorrow. She then surprised me later on, saying that she was pregnant.

You're so skinny, you could travel through a fax!

I can go to Walmart and scan my wrists. It'll say "antidepressants." ✨

What kind of bee can't fly?

A KOBE.

How do necrophiles get consent? A ouija board.

Why are orphans so bad at dodgeball? Because no one misses them.

What do you call a flat-chested emo girl?

A cutting board.

What do you call dead?

(Not Michael Jackson)

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

What's an orphan's favorite Roblox game?

Adopt Me.

Huggy Wuggy and Kissy Missy had a baby.

They never gave him a name, so they just played cut the rope with him...

In America, you fight Ukraine.

In Soviet Russia, you fight Mykraine.

I didn't mean to call an Afghanistan hotline. I told them I was depressed, then they asked if I know how to drive a truck. I don't know how that has anything to do with it!

I think I banged a Chinese celebrity...

She kept screaming “I’m Wei Tu Yung” like I was supposed to know the name.

What was Michael Jackson's favorite song?

"Touch Me (I Want Your Body)."