Worst Jokes Ever
Why do they call them a nonce?
Because they go for people who don't have any sense.
Teacher: "What is the opposite of the following sentence: 'Children in the dark make mistakes'?"
Student: "Mistakes in the dark make children."
Everybody knows the joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because seven ate nine.
But why was 10 scared? Because he was right in the middle of 9/11.
Me: why are Americans so good at rubix cubing? Friend: why? Me: they have a history of separating colors.
Maybe the reason there isn't any physical evidence is because it didn't happen.
Yo mama so poor, she used a KFC bucket as a rain hat.
Suck on my big fat ding dong, you idiot!
Warner Brothers have made a new Superman movie with Superman being black.
This new Superman's nickname is the "Man of Steel" but it's spelled s-t-e-a-l.
I recently learned that churches won’t let trans men become priests because they don’t consider trans men as men, which is rather confusing to me.
As a Jew, I don’t know very much about Christianity, but from what I’ve heard, don’t priests love little boys?
I told a blind man to read more, so he grabbed my arm and read the whole dictionary.
It's horrible to make jokes about 9/11, but it's not funny when I found out my mate's mum jumped from the 21st floor.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
If you want KFC, pour water on a poor person outside our restaurant and film it.
What does B.I.B.L.E stand for?
Bullshit In Book Lacking Evidence.
George Floyd: 3 years sober, drug and alcohol free.
Yo mama so fat she made KFC go bankrupt.
Do you want drugs? Buy KFC; poor people.
Why is it okay for a woman to use me when she feels like it, but when I use her body when I feel like it, I am the bad guy?
Me: I been up all night, no sleep--
The lie detector I didn’t know I had: Lie.
Me: stfu! I’m just singing!
Lie detector: You literally listen to music all the time... you almost don’t even sleep!
Me: THEN WHY THE FUCK DID TOU SAY IT’S A LIE, WHEN I SAID I DIDN’T SLEEP?!
Lie detector: It’s 3:00 AM in 8 minutes, you usually close your eyes to sleep when it’s 5:00 AM... You get waken up at 7:00 AM... you only sleep two hours......
What do you call a disabled person in a sauna?
Steamed veggies!