Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

The judge asked Bill Cosby for his defense. He used feminist talking points and said "My body, my choice" and "It's my right to privacy." The judge, being impartial, let Cosby go.

My Grandmother died last month. The thing that bugs me to this day, I couldn't understand her last words... through the pillow.

"Daddy, what are those two things on mum’s chest?" asked Tom. "Those are just... balloons," said dad.

(Later)

"Dad! I think mum’s dying!" said Tom. "Why?" asked dad. "Because uncles are blowing her balloons, and she said, ‘Oh god, I'm cumming!’"

I conducted a survey. I asked 100 women what kind of shampoo they used while they were in the shower? 98 of them said, "How the fuck did you get in here?" 😂😂😂

I SH so much, even when I die and become a ghost, you can see red stripes floating around the room.

What do Michael Jackson and Santa Claus have in common?

They both leave children's rooms with an empty sack.

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    • What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

    "♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

    What's in common with Michael Jackson and a phone?

    Kids play with both of them.

    I used to keep asking a woman if I can rape her until she got so annoyed and said, "Stop asking me."

    I feel bad for the people who died in 2001. Those poor terrorists died doing their job.

    My friend asked, "What's that on your arm?" I replied, "Oh, this? I didn't have enough storage on my phone to download Fruit Ninja so I had to improvise a little bit."