Pilot: So Kobe, it seems like you’re not going to make it to your destination in time so I’m going to put it on autopilot so I can find a place to fill with gas.
Kobe: take us to the side of that mountain at full speed. I don’t really want to go to the event anymore.
Roses are red Violets are blue Your wife needs Jon grudon too.
Being unemployed is like watching our president fall over himself on the stairs
there’s no hope.
A priest asks a nun if she has slept with anyone and the nun says yes a fucking hot girl
What did the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breathe through that tiny thing?
My parents told me that I should go hang with my friends and get out of the house. So I called some of my friends and told them to meet me in the school yard, one said “ what tree?” I replied “you’ll know when you get here”
My parents never said how they wanted us to hangout.
Wade. You're a joke. The worst joke.
Hoped this would be a safer, more fun place to talk to my BP friends, but I guess not. I've also learned that some people think "worst jokes ever" = "terrible unfunny jokes that make light of people who died horribly or otherwise suffered" instead of things like "why did the chicken cross the road?"-type jokes.
Maybe I'm just too old at this point.
Why shouldn't you trust tree's? because they seem shady
Is there anything worse than when it's raining cats and dogs? Yes, hailing taxis.
What kind of fish knows how to do an appendectomy? A Sturgeon
What do you call a pig who knows how to use a knife? A pork chop.
Did you hear about the fire at the shoe factory? Unfortunately, many soles were lost.
How do you hire a horse? Easy. Just put up a ladder.
What is the movie orphans relate to the most? Spider-Man: No way home.(Either that or Batman)
Why do people hate jokes about the World Trade Center? Because its an easy target.
What do you call two old men drooling in their wheelchairs? The 2028 US election.
A kid in the back of the class just yelled “Jenga!” The class was watching a 9/11 documentary.
Yo mama so fat, when she went up the elevator the World Trade Center collapsed.
what do priests and mcdonalds have in common? they both shove their meat between 10 year old buns
Monkeys are big, but they sure can swing very lightly.
