Worst Jokes Ever

A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"

I asked my dog this morning how her week's been going--she said "ruff." I feel her, you know? I feel her.

First of all, if a woman sues Bill Cosby for drugging and rape 50 years ago, and she could still remember it, it couldn't have been all bad.

A TikTok I saw: "I'm in Canada, I'm in the United States!"

Most people: "I'm in South Korea, I'm in Nor- *boom*"

Me: "I'm in Palestine, I'm in Is... this heaven?"

*Insert me starting a war in the comments*

What did Hitler and Usain Bolt have in common?

They both finished the races.

Why is a bee's hair so smooth and sticky?

Because they use honeycombs.

Teacher: "Ok class, what animal jumps the highest?"

Kid: "A leopard."

Quiet kid: "No, it's emo kids. Some of them are still in the air."

Kid: "Broooooooooooo."

Why did the hooker fall in love? Stockholm syndrome.

The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.

Hehe.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to do it in the water. Jack slipped, his condom ripped, and now they have a daughter.

Please like this. I bet my friend 20 bucks that I would get to 15 likes before him.

How many altar boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? Depends on how dark the priests' basement is.

How do you know if your sister's on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes funny.

What's worse than fingering your sister?

Finding your dad's wedding ring inside her.

Stop hating on pedophiles. At least they're good babysitters.

I saw your mom at work the other night. She was talking about how good she was doing.

Hands down, best $20 blowjob ever.

There's an outbreak of foot and mouth disease, it can affect pigs and cows.

I hope my teacher will be ok.

Huggy Wuggy big big Huggy Wuggy big big big big Huggy Wuggy laugh laugh smooch smooch Huggy Wuggy *insert clapping noise*

This chess game against America and England is getting interesting. First, America lost both of its towers, but now England has lost its queen.

What do you call a large lamp that does illicit things to young children?

A Jacko Lantern!

A: Why are you so sad?

B: I was watching porn, and all of a sudden my wife opened the door.

A: Ok, I see, but is that really such a big deal?

B: I mean, she opened the door in the movie!