"What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One weighs a ton, and the other is a little lighter."
"A priest, an imam, and a rabbit walk into a clinic to donate blood. The rabbit turns to the nurse and says, 'I think I'm a Type-O.'"
"What do you give a man that has everything? Penicillin."
"Why do cemeteries have fences around them? Because everyone’s dying to get in."
"Did you hear about the flasher who exposed himself to two elderly ladies in Central Park? One had a stroke. The other couldn’t quite reach."
What would Martin Luther King Jr. be if he was white? Alive.
Why is suicide illegal? Because it destroys government property.
What do you call a gay French man? A faguette!
A kid asks his mom what dark humor is. She says, “You see that man with no arms, tell him to clap.” “But mom I’m blind!” says the kid. “Exactly,” replied the mom.
What does a french guy say when he falls off? Oh no, eiffel!
Bro told me this when he passed away.
I’m “FaDiNg”
Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!
I usually hang up halloween decorations,
but this year imma be the decoration.
A cop pulls two Arabian men over, walks up to their window and says "We are looking for two child molesters". Now after a short pause the two men look at each other,then back at the officer and say "we'll do it!"
My wife is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
Roses are red Get on the ground gimme your stuff get ready to drown.
Best emoji:🫃
Boy goes to Confession Boy " What are you doing father" Priest "Its called masturbation and soon you will be doing it" Boy " Why do you say that father" Priest " Cause my hand is getting tired" -not my joke
What stresses a baby strawberry out? When its mom is in a jam.
When does a computer function best? When it listens to its motherboard.
