Worst Jokes Ever

What's the difference between anal rape and a microwave?

A microwave won't brown your meat.

What did they do with his body when he died?

They made him into Lego so kids can play with him for once.

The KGB, the FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove they are the best at catching criminals. The Secretary-General of the UN decides to set them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest, and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA people go in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations, they conclude that the rabbit does not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and make no apologies: the rabbit had it coming.

The KGB goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling:

"Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!"

WARNING OFFENSIVE: What is the difference between a redhead and a brick? ... A brick gets laid.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

If I wanted to kill myself, I would just climb up your ego and jump down to your IQ.

Shorts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin. When it's sniff, stick it in. It goes in dry and comes out wet, And the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag.

It's not what you think it is. It's a Lipton tea bag.

Get your mind together!

Yo mama so fat, she is one of the boulders in Indiana Jones.

How do you surprise a blind guy? Leave the plunger in the toilet.

I just found out that there is a racist stereotype about Asians being bad drivers, which isn't true... but if it is, then maybe Pearl Harbor was just an accident.