Worst Jokes Ever
There is no god. None, not one.
Two friends are in a hospital lobby. Friend 2 notices Friend 1 crying.
Friend 1: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 2: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 1: "I came here for a blood test."
Friend 2: "So? Are you afraid?"
Friend 1: "No. For the blood test, they cut my finger."
Friend 2: "*crying hysterically*"
Friend 1: "Why are you crying?"
Friend 2: "I came here for a urine test."
Yo mama so fat, when she went on the elevator, it went down.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
What were the astronauts' last words before the shuttle blew up?
"What does this button do...?"
My favorite kind of face mask is the plastic bag.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
When you think you can’t fail anymore if you’re dead, then you fail at suiciding.
Meaning behind the German flag: 🇩🇪 Black: culture Red: Beer Yellow: Sausage Blue: Winning world wars.
What is the worst tool to play when playing the game “Icebreaker”?
The Titanic.
Q: Why was the tower of Pisa leaning?
A: Because it has better reflexes than the Twin Towers.
Why couldn’t the toilet paper make it across the road?
It got stuck in a crack.
Why was the orphan so successful?
Because people always said, "Go big or go home," and he only had one option. 😂🤣
Trevor Bauer for President.
What part of a vegetable can't you eat? The wheelchair.
Why did Hitler's cookies taste bad? He forgot to clean out the oven.
A Scouser at ground zero just after the twin towers fell asks a passer-by, "What time is it, mate?"
An American replies, "That's a mad accent, where are you from?"
The Scouser says, "Liverpool."
The American says, "Oh, what state is that in?"
The Scouser looks around and says, "About the same state as this, mate, but what time is it?"
Teacher: Okay class, look at the person to the right of you and describe them with one word.
Me: *looks to the right of me and sees the pick-me girl* "Penny."
Teacher: *shocked* How is she a penny?
Me: 'Cause she's two-faced, flat, and always in someone's pants. Not to mention worth practically nothing.
Me: Good night, everyone.
My friends and family: Night.
Me: *gets in coffin*
My family: *stares at my friends* You aren't going to do something?!?
My friends: *to my family* Nope, this is normal.
I love telling jokes about orphans. I mean, what are they going to do about it? Tell their parents?