Worst Jokes Ever

Teacher: "What do you think is your purpose in our society?"

Me: "To reduce the population by one."

The average person in 2023 is less straight than the lines my 5th-grade P.E. teacher walked in college.

If you can’t touch your brain or see your brain, you don’t have a brain?

If you are poor, get money.

What’s Kobe’s favorite rapper?

NLE Choppa

Figure: Who wants to play hide and seek?

Seek and Hide: Me.

Figure: Okay, hide and I will hide and Seek will be it.

Seek: Why do I have to be it?

Figure: Because your name says so.

Why can't orphans play baseball?

Because they don't know where home is.

What was Jesus' reaction when the first black person was born?

"Holy shit, I burnt one."

I once told an orphan to go big or go home. He replied, "I can't get home; it got bombed."

When I see two lovers' names on a tree, I don’t find it cute or funny. I think, why would they be bringing a knife on a date?

Sometimes I get jealous when my phone dies. (This does not apply to me. It's a joke.)

Your hairline is so nonexistent, even the universe couldn't find it.

Yo momma so fat that it was hard to find the G spot and slip her one at night.

I put someone in a wheelchair into the fire and called him "hot wheels."

A man is dating three women and has to choose which one he'll marry. He decides to give them a test. He gives each woman a present of $5000 and watches to see what she does with the money.

The first woman does a total make-over. She goes to a fancy beauty salon, gets her hair done, new make up, and buys several new outfits to look sexy for the man. She tells him that she has done this to be more attractive for him because she loves him so much. The man was impressed.

The second woman goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for his computer, and some expensive clothes. As she presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent all the money on him because she loves him so much. Again, the man is impressed.

The third woman invests the money in the stock market. She earns several times the $5000. She gives him back his $5000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account. She tells him that she wants to save for their future because she loves him so much. Obviously, the man was impressed.

The man thought for a long time about what each woman had done with the money... Then he married the one with the biggest tits.