Worst Jokes Ever
“My Mum told me the best time to ask my Dad for anything was during sex. Not the best advice I’d ever been given.
I burst in through the bedroom door saying, ‘Can I have a new bike?’ He was very upset. His secretary was surprisingly nice about it. I got the bike.”
There was a girl I used to date, only to find out that she used to be a man. You could say, she put me in a trans.
Me: Hey, you want to hear a dark joke?
Brother: Sure.
Me: Turn off the light.
What do you call meat in an oven?
Africa.
Your mom's hot.
Yo mama so fat, she had to have 5 doorways to get anywhere!
Hey, are you suicide? Because I want to do you!
What do Spiderman and an orphan have in common? They both have no way home.
Are you a border? 'Cause I can't get over you.
Why did the blonde have sex with a Mexican?
Her teacher told her that she had to do an essay.
Hi, I'm Coby Bayley.
The other day, my girlfriend asked me to pass her lipstick, but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.
She still isn't talking to me.
What do you call an Asian telephone?
Ling Ling.
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
What type of flour do orphans use?
- Self-raising.
Ask someone to call you a bitch. When they do, tell them, "Bitches do as they are told!"
What do you call a Panera Bread marking a test?
A Panera grade.
You're so fat, when you wear a yellow raincoat, people call out, "TAXI!"
The Twin Towers ordered a sesame bagel. They got the plane one instead.
Yo mama is so fat that when she fell over, she created the Grand Canyon.