Worst Jokes Ever
Me and my friend (rope) like hanging out.
What happened to Peter Pan when he jumped off the Twin Towers?
He Neverland.
Your hairline is so far back my grandpa saw it before you!
In a Kahoot, and you're the Twin Tower terrorist: terrorist kill streak 2,996.
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
You look too old to be living with your grandma.
You like bread toasted? That means you're roasted.
What can an elevator do that an orphan’s parents can’t?
The elevator can raise a family.
Do a neck reveal.
What were Paul Walker's last words?
I dk probably "WATCH THE FUCKING TREE!"
What do you call an orphan family photo?
A selfie.
I might not be able to make my bed, but at least I can get out of it.
I was crying when my dad was cutting onions.
Onions was such a good dog.
How do Taliban parents feed their babies?
"Here comes the plane... weeee, BOOM! 💥"
If you're bored, just go hit an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
Three Europeans head to an island. They are captured by the island people. They are going to kill them, and they plead. They grant them a chance to live. The island people tell them to grab a fruit from the tribe's garden and bring it back, then to follow the task at hand.
The first guy brings back a peach. The island leader says, "Stick it up your ass. If you laugh, you die." The first guy shoves it up his ass and laughs, so they kill him. The second guy brings a grape, he does the same and laughs, making them kill him.
The first two are in heaven together. "Peaches are fuzzy, so I laughed. How the hell did you die? You had a grape!" says the first guy. The second guy replied, "It didn't tickle at all. I laughed at the sight [of] the third guy was bringing over a pineapple."
SMG4 Mario be like in Ohio: I don’t wanna do this...
Candice everyone: Candice?
Mario: CAN DEEZ NUTS FIT IN YOUR MOUTH!
Why can’t orphans play baseball? They have got no home to run to.
Q: Why are Americans so good at Rubik's cubes?
A: 'Cause they have a history of separating colors.
Jon and Amanpreet were in a mental institution. This place had an annual contest picking two of the best patients and gives them two questions. If they got them correct, they’re deemed cured and free to go.
Jon was called into the doctor’s office first and asked if he understood that he’d be free if he answered the questions correctly. The doctor said, “Jon, what would happen if I poked out one of your eyes?” Jon said, “I’d be half blind.” “That’s correct. What if I poked out both eyes?” “I’d be completely blind.” The doctor stood up, shook Jon’s hand, and told him he was free.
On Jon’s way out, as the doctor filled out the paperwork, Jon mentioned the exam to Amanpreet. He told him what questions were going to be asked and gave him the answers. So Amanpreet came in. The doctor went thru the formalities and asked, “What would happen if I cut off one ear?” Amanpreet, remembering what Jon had said was the correct answer said, “I’d be half blind.” The doctor looked a little puzzled, but went on. “What if I cut off the other ear?” “I’d be completely blind,” Amanpreet answered. “Amanpreet, can you explain how you’d be *blind*?” “My hat would fall down over my eyes.”