Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so fat that when she walks, she causes earthquakes. She is so big that she has her own zip code and gravity field. She is so heavy that she needs a crane to get out of bed. She is so obese that she can't fit in any clothes, except for a circus tent. She is so large that she blocks the sun and causes eclipses.
I decided to take my mother-in-law out the other day. I love being a hitman.
In a deep village in Germany, an old man asked his granddaughter, "What are you doing?"
His granddaughter replies, "Removing Polish with chemicals."
Grandpa said, "When I was young, I did the same."
How do Asian parents name their baby?
They drop a pot down a flight of stairs.
Why did Uranus say gross? Because he saw Uranus.
I was playing football and this guy comes to me, he was in a wheelchair.
We started playing rocket league.
I'm so depressed that when I smile, my Face ID doesn't recognize me.
What's an Emo's favorite game? Hangman.
(Best pick-up line ever). Your body is like 9/11. I wanna crash into your twin towers. đ
Your mama so fat, she caused a traffic jam just by crossing the street.
What did the pedestrian say after he saw the twin towers fell?
JENGA!!!!
What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?
Gock gock gock ghghghkghlhglhglhk.
I broke up with my girlfriend because she wouldn't stand for the pledge. She was in a wheelchair.
Why is it okay to hit an orphan?
It's not like it can tell its parents.
Why canât orphans be married?
Because they wonât have their parents' blessings.
Q: Why canât Jesus make fun of gay people?
A: He got nailed first.
A woman is on the edge of a bridge, about to commit suicide, when a strange man comes up to her.
"Tell me, why do you wish to end your life?" he asks in a booming but gentle voice.
"My children died last year in a car crash, I'm battling depression, my husband left me, and I lost my job," she sobs. "I don't wish to live anymore."
The man mulls this over, and proclaims, "I will solve all your problems, as I am a wizard and possess unfathomable abilities. However, you must grant me a blowjob first."
The delighted woman readily agrees, takes him below the bridge, and fulfills his request. After they're done, he asks, "How old are you?"
"37," she replies, wiping her mouth.
"You're 37 and you still believe in wizards?"
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
I looked at you, and you were bald until I got slapped up by Will Smith to the back of your head and saw the Great Wall of China.
My nan must really love the quiet game, she's been playing it for ages.