Who are the fastest readers? The victims of 9/11. They went through 87 stories in 10 seconds.
Worst Jokes Ever
Can someone be my daddy?
Hey, what’s your favorite type of tomato? Mine is sun-dried tomato.
Get it? "Sun-dried" like "son died."
Father: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Father: So you won’t be bored. You’re going to need them there.
Your hairline sucks; even Harry Potter could not put it under a spell to turn it back to order.
What’s the difference between a pornstar covered in slime and The White Stripes?
One has "Icky Thump," and the other does "icky hump."
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A chopping board.
Q: What did the Buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
A: Bison.
My dad told me to stop with the suicide jokes, so I said I’ll cut it out.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because they can't find home.
What do you call a disabled person in a fire?
"HOT WHEELS!"
What's the only time a Pentagon has four sides? When a plane intercepts into it.
What am I gonna do on the 5th anniversary of the Parkland shooting?
Shoot a load in you just like I shot those kids ;)
Why does Johnny Sins cover his pants, but it doesn't work?
Because the long, hard thing can't chirp down.
Tell it to your parents and friends!
Why do orphans rob the bank?
Because they want to be wanted.
Why did the terrorists crash?
They were doing the job they loved but not getting paid.
Lol.
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and an ugly woman?
The Twin Towers got fucked.
My kids found me in the family tree. I was hanging there for hours.
How many times did Rob O'Neill shoot Bin Laden? 911 times.
What do you call it when Panera Bread is a book?
Panera Read.
