Why does Sonic wear gloves? Because his hands are cold.
Worst Jokes Ever
Yo hairline caused corruption.
I just heard that the inventor of the autocorrect died the other day.
May he rest in pizza.
Whatâs the difference between an orphan and an apple? An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between a duck?
What do you call Hitler when he gets thrown?
A gas grenade.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
That one depressed friend.
Ever heard of ligma? Ligma ba--
You're pretty, pretty dumb.
A man went to buy 5 undies, so he said, "Hi, 5 undies, please, 1 for each weekday." Then another man comes and said, "Hi, 7 undies please, 1 for each day, and they'll finish cleaning by Sunday." So the cashier said, "Now that's more like it!" And then another person said, "Hi, 12 undies please, wait, I'm gonna double check... January... fe"
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
I actually think Paul Walker was a good man, he did not deserve to be burned alive.
He had a change of race tho when he died.
Why is my anus burning?
'Cause I sat on an open lighter, oh god, help!
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
The man was dangling by a string!
I was jealous the day he died.
