Worst Jokes Ever
What kind of book does cheese read at a church?
The Hole-y Bible.
"Give it to me! Give it to me!" she yelled. "I'm so wet, give it to me now!" She could scream all she wanted, but I was keeping the umbrella.
What's the difference between a wizard who raises the undead and a sexy vampire?
One is a necromancer and the other is a neck romancer.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It's true.
I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.
How is a child molester and Harambe the same? They both get shot for touching little kids.
Why can't an orphan play baseball? Because he can't get home.
Man: Cow milk is drinkable.
Other man: How do you know that?
Man: *smiles with milk all over mouth*
Other man: John...h-how do you know that!
Dark humor is like food, some just don't get it.
Virginia is false advertising. Couldn't find many virgins there.
That one depressed friend.
My friend: You ever feel like life is pointless? *drives faster*
Me: Yea-
My friend: If you could die with one person, who would it be? *speeds up more*
Me: H-hey, you should slow down! Slow down, slow down! We're about to-
What do orphans call family pictures?
A selfie.
What did Joe Biden say when he got pulled over?
I'm just a-Biden the law, officer.
Neither of them respect boundaries.
Just because you‘re suicidal, you don‘t have to be a quitter.
Wait, actually.
A midget had a disease, and the cure was on the highest shelf.
What do emos and ninjas both have in common? They both hide and cut things.
What falls first from a tree, an apple or an emo?
The apple... the emo just hangs there.
▄【デc̷a̷t̷══━一.
Spread the cat gun.