Worst Jokes Ever

Opposite day be like in doors.

Figure: Finally, I can see.

Eyes: Nnnnnoooo! I'm blind. Figure, I'm sorry I made fun of you all those other times. Please don't make fun of me.

Figure: Ok eye promise eye won't.

Eyes: 😭

Why are cheetahs big cats? Because they poo and purr.

Your mama's so young your dad went to jail.

Roses are red, violets are blue, there are kids in my basement, you'll be there soon.

Why can't an orphan hit a home run?

He's got no home to run to.

If I had a spray can, I would spray it on your ass. Because the instructions say to spray on flat surfaces.

I went on a walk last night with a really hot girl. Then she noticed me, and we went for a run.

Why do emo people hang each other? Because they're too "Hengruy."

I pulled a prank on my friend the other day. I painted a portrait of the backrooms blueprints while he was sleeping. Still had some extra space.

What do you say to a girl with two black eyes?

Nothing, you told her twice.

Meow meow, I'm a cow and I like cum cum cum.

What do you call Panera bread that has been weathered and eventually gathered and via cementation and pressure, it becomes a layer of different materials and is also one of the most common types of rock in the sea?

Panera Sed!

I'm Pastor Moe Mister, Moe Lester.

I heard you were looking for a stud...

I already have the STD; all I need is you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I've got a bouquet in my pants for you.

Why can’t Chinese people play baseball?

Because they ate the bay.

What do you get when you mix a cow with an earthquake??

Milkshake.

What's the difference between a low tide and your hairline?

Nothing, they're both receding.

What did the plane say to the twin towers?

Wanna play Jenga?

Why was ten scared?

Because it was in the middle of 9/11.