Yard work jokes

Running out of time to cut the grass, may have to cut it short.

How did the retard get hurt raking the leaves?

Fell out of the tree.

God, I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.

How do you cut your grass without a lawnmower?

You dye it blue and it will cut itself.

My Dad was mowing the grass today. I looked out the window and saw him slumped over the lawnmower. Apparently, he was just going through a rough patch.

I just planted emo grass.

Ignore it and it cuts itself.

One thing led to another, now I have a new patio.