Vulgarity jokes

What do peanut butter and a prostitute's legs have in common?

They’re both easy to spread.

It's a joke, not a dick. Don't take it so hard.

When your girlfriend picks you up and decides to prank you by not wearing pants to a seafood restaurant:

Did you get seafood without me? It smells like fish.

Is your ass jealous of the amount of shit that always comes out of your mouth?

Anal intercourse is for assholes.

Why does Mini P.E.K.K.A. love pancakes? Because he is busy watching explicit content involving the Archers and Firecracker.

How do you stop a woman from choking?

Back up an inch.

Your momma is so slutty, they hired her as a condom tester.

What is the female version of t-bagging? A clam slapping.

What’s black, white, and red all over? A nun on her period.

Cheer for fun on the telephone and singing, "We are family!" Even then, your dad, really, he's fat, just like your dad. And your mom's fat ass, b**** ass, looking like an Oompa Loompa self, looking like an ugly.

Roses are red, Lemons are sour; Lift your skirt up and give me an hour.

What do you call a blowjob from a girl who has autism?

Special head.

What's the difference between your mom and a laundromat washer?

The washer doesn't take loads for free.

What’s the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

Have you heard the word of the day? It’s "legs".

Now, let’s go back to my place and I can spread them.

What do you call two Chinese lesbians?

Two can't chew.

Q: What do nuns and bathrooms have in common?

A: They both have glory holes for pleasing.

Why is pounding your mom like playing video games?

Because once you start, you just can’t stop until you win!

I got knob cheesed after your sexy mom was on top, dry humping me on the vanilla-coloured living room carpet.