Valentine

Valentine Jokes

Duck

I "onerie," or however you spell it, I like to replace all romance or similar memes with duck memes. Just comment duck memes there and change Valentine's Day to Duck Day. Also, for the joke:

Why did the duck walk up to the lemonade stand?

Because he wanted grapes.

Incest

My mom told me yesterday that in this Valentine, we should take our love to new heights. So tomorrow I'm prepared to fuck her in "The Hot Seat" position.

Money

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Rose

Roses are red, violets are blue,

Oh, shit, I have nothing to say to you!

Rose

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I need your peach, and I'll torture you with a speech.

Rose

Roses are red, clovers are green.

I love your legs and what's in between. LOL

Orphan

Why does an orphan's calendar only have 362 days? Because they don't celebrate Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Valentine's Day.

Death

My poem, roses are red, violets are blue. I will die very soon. 🔪

Name

Englishman: We named our son George since he was born on Saint George's Day.

Irishman: We called our daughter Valentine since she was born on Valentine's Day.

Scotsman: We named our son Pancake because he was born on Pancake Day!

Hitler

You know Hitler loves you when he comes up to you on Valentine's Day and he says, "Will you be my Valenein?"

Poem

My girlfriend asked me to write her a poem for Valentines Day:

Roses are red, Watches are gold. Get on your knees, And do as you're told.

Birthday

People were talking and asking what's the worst day of the year for them.

Person 1: "The first day of school because I don't like going to school."

Person 2: "Valentine's day because it's too lovey."

Me: "Oh nice, mine is my birthday because it's when I was born."

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  • Rose

    Roses are red. Violets are blue. If he's busy on Valentine's Day, the side chick is you.

    Rose

    Roses are red, my blood is too. I see a lot when I lost you.

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  • Blood

    Blood is red.

    Bruises are blue. I forget the rest... um, I hate you...?

    Finger

    Roses are red, violets are blue, I have five fingers, and the middle one is for you.

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