Unexpected reaction jokes

I offered to share a meal with a homeless person once, but he said, "Piss off and buy your own!"

I was crying when Sasha died in AOT, I also got jealous.

Little Johnny went to school and right before class started, he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his teacher told him to put on his pants and go to the office. The principal asked him what he did, so he pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Then the principal called his mom. The mom got there and took little Johnny home.

They got in the car, and his mother asked, "Johnny, what did you do this time?" So Johnny pulled his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." Once they got home, his dad was off work and heard that Johnny was coming home early from school. Once again he asked Johnny what he did. Johnny pulled down his pants and said, "Little fishy, little fishy, little fishy." After that, his dad was surprised, so his dad pulled down his pants and said, "Big whale, big whale."

When you die, people cry and wish you to come back.

But when you do, people scream and run away.

I accidentally drank a little food coloring last night. I ended up dying inside.

"Would you like to play the rape game?"

"No wtf" she replied.

"That's the spirit!"

I was sitting next to this really hot Thai girl on the bus, and all I could think to myself was, "Don't get an erection, don't get an erection..." But she did.

So I asked my mom for a bath bomb, she just gave me a toaster.