Train Tracks

Train Tracks Jokes

A Man and a Cow are stuck on train tracks and There is a Train in the distance about to hit both of them. A vegan sees this and tries to help. Who does He save, The man or the cow? Neither. He isn't strong enough to lift either of them.

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So a man finds a woman on a train track while he's on his way to a bar, and they had a lot of sex, when he gets to the bar he brags about the different sex positions they used and one of the guys says "oh did you do head" and he responded with no I couldn't find the head

Three guy are in the woods, a a really smart guy, an average, and a really dumb guy, they bored so the smart guy decides to go hunting a little while later he comes back with a dear, the average guy asks how do did you do that? The really smart guy says says I see dear tracks I fallow dear tracks, I see dear I shoot dear. The average guy say I think I understand and leaves, an little bit later he comes back with a raccoon. The really dumb goes *gasp* how did you do that!?. And the average looks at him funny and says well I see raccoon tracks I fallow raccoon tracks, I see raccoon I shoot raccoon. The super dumb guy thinks for a second and says Oooohh, ok I thiNo I can do that.. and leaves. Hours pass and and the guy finally returns, hurt, bloody, and horribly mingled. They run to help him. Finally one of the guys ask him what happened this is what he said: I see train tracks, I fallow train tracks. I see train I shoot train. But train keep coming.

One time their was a depressed man standing in the middle of a train track a girl said excuse me can you move please I’m trying than the man stopped her sentence and said how is your t shirt so clean than she said back easy hung it up

A friend of mine told me this joke a long time ago and I never forgotten it... A worm was crawling over a train track, and a train ran over him and cut off his ass...the worm turned around to get the piece of his ass back & another train ran over him and cut off his head... BAD IDEA & a lesson to us all... NEVER LOSE YOUR HEAD OVER A PIECE OF ASS!! LMAO (literally, kind of)( pretty sure you get it)

Two guys where on a hunting trip and after the first day of hunting they don’t see anything so that decide the next day they will split up and meet back at, the fire at dinner time. After a day of hunting they meet back at the fire and the one hunter asked the other how did your day go? So the one hunter said “I had the best day ever,” I went down the hill and hunted by the train tracks and saw the hottest chick ever, we had sex for hours in every position you could think of. Then the other hunter asked him “was she a good lookin blond?” And he said “ oh I don’t know I didn’t find her head”

Once there were three Indians. Two were smart and one was... not so smart. One day, the first smart Indian went out hunting. He came back with a dead deer. The not so smart Indian asks "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the deer tracks, shot the deer, and brought it home." The next day, the next smart Indian goes out. He comes back with a dead bear. The not so smart Indian asks once again "How'd you do it?" The smart one replies, "I followed the bear tracks, shot the bear, and brought it home." Finally, it's now the not so smart Indian's turn to go hunt. Multiple hours had passed since he left. The smart Indians go out to search for him. They finally find him, bloodied and on the verge of dying. The smart Indians exclaimed "WHAT HAPPENED!" The not so smart Indian replies, "Well I... I followed the train tracks, an... and shot th- the train... bu- but it kept going..."