Time pressure jokes

"Boom, quick; you have five seconds to give me three reasons to live." "1......2......3 .....4....5..." Did you notice you said nothing at all?

I can measure the speed of an object, because I want to km/s.

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

To become a licensed airline pilot requires 1,500 hours (two years) of training. But it only takes 10 seconds to steal the pilot’s jacket and hat.

Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's really time-consuming, especially if you go for seconds.

I've just been fired from the clock-making factory after all those extra hours I put in.