Timber jokes

I complained to my landlord that carpenter ants were getting into the timbers. He was dismissive.

"They're Karen Carpenter ants, they don't eat much of anything."

I am so cool that even the fridge or a snowman would shiver his timbers when they see me :).

Would it be wrong of me to yell “Jenga!” or “Timber!” while my class is watching a 9/11 documentary?

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck?

If a woodchuck could chuck wood?

As much wood as a woodchuck could chuck,

If a woodchuck could chuck wood.

Guess what song was playing during 9/11? Timber by Ke$ha.

Lyla Annabelle Reeves - STL Missouri - Timber Tree.

What did the tree say when it gets horny? My wood has a splinter.

What did the tree say to the Lumberjack? Leaf me alone!

Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.

If trees could kill you, they wood.