The jokes
Why does Helen Keller hate the national anthem? Oh, say, can you see?
Why do orphans have cereal with water? Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What is the one word orphans don’t know? Homework.
What does Kim Kardashian and the ocean have in common?
They both have plastic in them.
Why did 10 have trauma?
Because 10 was in the middle of 9/11.
The reason why people are short is because their dad never came back with the milk.
What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A zit will wait until you’re twelve before it comes on your face.
What’s the best part about sex with 28-year-olds?
There are twenty of them.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"Why are you shaking? She’s gonna eat me!"
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?
One slip of the tongue, and you’re in deep shit.
Q: What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
A: Apples get picked.
Yo mama so fat, she uses the equator as her belt.
Michael Jackson is like a TV from the 1900s: black and white.
Vegan Teacher the musical.
Miss Kadie - "Oh no, you poor dead animal!"
Mr. Beast- 🎶 "You're a dumb Communist, Miss Kadie" 🎶
Chandler-🎵 "Yup, you're one high fluting son of a gun" 🎵
Mr. Beast- 🎵 "I just gobbled up a quadruple patty from my restaurant" 🎵
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "Don't hurt animals kids, do you want to be a vegans 'R' us kid?" 🎵
Kids- 🎵 "We've had enough of your problems, Miss Kadie, you're such a commie!"
Miss Kadie - 🎵 "I just want to die because I'm so sad!"
- Miss Kadie jumps off Mr. Beast Burger and commits suicide.
What company do orphans hate the most?
S. C. Johnson, a family company.
What's the difference between an apple and an orphan?
The apple gets picked.
So, at school there are these twins. At my school, I folded two paper airplanes to throw at them. Once I realized why it felt so wrong to do it, I had already threw them. I hit the north, then the south one.
If a WOMAN gets RAPED, RUN INTO THE SECNE AND HELP HER.
What do the twin towers and my ex-girlfriend have in common? They both went down on my dad.
Why is the sun so mean? Because it keeps ROASTING everyone!