The jokes

A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

“You can’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man responds, “You may be a talking tree, but you will have dialogue.”

Me and my friends were having a party the other day when some bitch came bitching about the noise. Thankfully, she was hot and had a nice ass, so it was enjoyable raping her.

The next day when I woke up, I found her body only half eaten. Her lower body was still intact, so I went for seconds to fuck off the hangover. Then I had breakfast. Her ass tasted good with some ketchup.

What's the difference between property and women? At least property still retains some value after getting wrecked.

What's the worst part about burning your vegetables before dinner?

Explaining what happened to the nursing home while you're hungry.

B: Can you please stop roasting me?

A: At least the "roasting" that I did to you didn't burn you to death.