The jokes
Why did the orphan cry? Because he was an orphan and he watched his parents die.
"FUCK FUCK FUCK MY CLOTHES CAUGHT THE FLAME OH MY GOD IT BURNS SO MUCH!"
What was the orphan's favorite TV show?
Full House.
What was the orphan's favorite cartoon show?
"Fairly OddParents."
I just got kicked out of the fucking library for putting the women's rights in the fiction section.
Don't you just hate when you have to eat cereal with water because your dad won't bring the fucking milk? Cause same.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
None, they all beat the room for being black.
Me- *crying in the shower*
Also me- *why is my toaster in here?*
When I get suicidal, everyone worries. I don't know why because that is when I'm the happiest, thinking about death.
Stand in the corner.
Why do black men have nightmares?
Because the only one that had a dream got shot.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple tree?
The apples get picked.
How can a gay man that is unemployed be productive in the workplace?
Give a blowjob to other gay men in the workplace for money.
Why are Chinese so good at jaywalking? Cause they can't tell the difference between green and red light with their tiny eyes.
You walk into a room, and there’s a lot of people waiting in line to punch you... Yeah, that’s the punchline.
What fell first, the feather or the depressed kid?
Q: The feather, the depressed kid is still up there.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an orphan?
A normal kid has a family.
A man robs a bank and asks a woman, "Did you see that?"
She says, "Yes." So the man shoots her.
He leaves the bank and sees a couple. He asks, "Did you see that?" The husband said, "No, but my wife did!"