The jokes
A hot woman is ready to jump from a bridge and commit suicide when an ugly, stinky homeless man comes up to her and tells her, "Oh baby, you so hot, let's fuck!"
She just yells, "Get the fuck away, you creep!"
He just laughs and says, "Alright, I'll wait down there."
What did the calculator say to the student?
You can always count on me.
What do you call a kid that's in the fire? Hot Wheels.
Your mama is so funny looking that when the doctor called her, he said, "Never visit me again. I hope you die!"
What's the difference between your girlfriend and sister? Nothing if you're from Alabama.
I was telling the emo kid emo jokes, and I couldn’t read them because I was laughing too hard. I almost cut the emo kid. He wasn’t laughing at the jokes.
I know the voices in my head aren't real, but man, do they have some good ideas.
Why aren't emos and trees friends? Because the tree leaves them hanging.
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Went to the doctor, told him I've been having dreams, first about a wigwam, then about a teepee. He said I was too tense.
Q: what happened when the depressed kid wanted to high five the tree?
A: It left him/her/them hanging.
What's the difference between an emo and my clothes?
My clothes don't hang themselves.
Why did the Roman not eat BBQ chicken?
Because he "wasn't a veggatarian."
Why don't orphans go to the shops? Because when their mum leaves, she's never coming back.
What do you call 2 Indians on a dating website? Connect the dots.
I got in big trouble the other day, though it was pretty unfair. Babies kick pregnant women all the time, and yet I got arrested anyways.
Huh, I’m pregnant again. Must be something in the air.
Yeah, your legs.
Why do orphans hate Ted Bundy? Cause he's the most wanted.
The one good thing about an orphan is that they don't get roasted with a "yo mama" joke.
Why can an orphan never get picked up?
Because the white van did not come that day. HAHA BIG LOL