The jokes

Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.”

Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.

A kid was asking a mother for money.

Mother: Sorry, I don't have money.

The kid kept asking the mother for money.

Mother: I already told you I don't have money.

The kid (the middle child): I'm your fucking child!

Why did the orphan become a stripper?

So she could have someone to call daddy.

If things don't get better, the Christmas lights won't be the only thing hanging.

What's the difference between a dad and an Emo?

They both don't last a while.

Why do orphans get in trouble at school?

Because the school doesn't have any parents to report to.

If WW3 starts, I do, in fact, belong in the kitchen.

What is the road on a hill?

Hillside.

Ring.. Ring.. Yes this is Dave from the Orphanage, "you make 'em we take 'em", how may I be of service?

Why can't an orphan eat a bag of chips?

Because the chip was family size.

So the teacher goes up to you and says, "I'm going to call your parents." Me: "Good luck finding them."

What’s the difference between candy and an orphan?

Candy is something everybody wants.

The bully: Your gay.

The nerd: You are.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: What, your gay?

The bully: You're gay.

The nerd: I am.

The bully: Yeah.

The nerd: Then what are you?

The police: Pull over!

The kid: Do you know who my dad is?

The police: What, your mom did not tell you?

Why did the orphan play Monopoly? To at least get some money. #fake

What’s an orphan’s least favorite movie? The Parent Trap.

You know that the F in orphan may stand for family, but it actually stands for "fuck family."

Violence isn't the answer. It's the question, and the answer is yes.

I was bullying a little kid for having a purple eye and said, "Where'd you get that? Your mom? Your dad?"

After that, everyone in my group was laughing at the kid. The next day I never saw him again.