The jokes
The shark bit me and I feet red down my legs.
What do you call an emo who just crossed the road? Roadkill.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples get picked.
Do orphans eat cereal with water?
Their dad did not come back with the milk.
I don't get this. Why is it I go to an orphanage and all of a sudden they said I used to be the cutest baby there?
What's the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair! ♿
What’s the difference between criminals and orphans?
Only one is wanted.
The doctor said I had two years to live, so I shot him. The warden gave me 50. Problem solved!
A gay rapist saves a female rape victim, then rapes the rapist.
Q: How do you punish a blind person?
A: Give them a gun and tell them it's a hairdryer.
Why is 10 afraid? Because it is in the middle of 9/11.
Two nuns in a bathtub.
One nun asks, "Where's the soap?"
The other nun says, "It sure does."
You're so skinny the world turns to the left!
A boy walks up to a girl and says, "I would tell you a joke about my dick, but it’s too long."
Then the girl says, "Yeah, I would tell you a joke about my pussy, but you’ll never get it."
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
If 6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9, then why was 10 afraid? Because it was right in the middle of 9/11.
What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits a car's windshield at 100 mph?
Its ass.
My elderly relatives like to tease me at weddings, saying, "You'll be next!"..
They soon stopped though, when I started to do the same to them at funerals.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is just a scoreboard.
If you think about it, the 9/11 memorial is literally just a scoreboard.