The jokes
I was driving a car and a fat person was crossing the street. When I swerved my car to miss her, I ran out of gas.
My fat friend went to the doctor because he wanted to know his blood type. After performing some tests, the doctor said, "Well, the test results have shown that your blood type is ragu."
What's the difference between the Twin Towers and the people at the old folks home?
They both collapsed.
What is the difference between the Twin Towers and feminism? The Twin Towers were destroyed by terrorists, while feminism was created by terrorists.
Hey! This site has a home page, but I wonder if the orphans can see it.
What's the difference between a gamer and dog poop?
Dog poop touches grass.
What do you call it if you find an old organ keyboard on the side of the road?
Organ harvesting.
The Lenovo computers at school stopped working.
They had to call an archeologist.
What’s the best thing about midgets??
They don’t need to bend while giving blowjobs.
What’s the best thing about a blowjob?
The silence.
What’s the difference between oral sex and anal sex?
Oral sex will make your whole day. Anal sex will make your hole weak.
Your hairline goes so far back even Dora the Explorer couldn’t find it.
Today, I dreamt about giving head to Johnny Depp.
Then I woke up and realized that I forgot to roll my windows up when passing through the New Jersey Turnpike.
Johnny Depp once said in an interview: "I get older, my girlfriends stay the same age."
Maybe Johnny Depp's soulmate isn't born yet. We'll see in 20-25 years.
I don’t usually tell 9/11 jokes, they usually crash and burn.
What’s the only reason Emos drink?
To get hungover.
Kid: Mom! You lied to me!
Mom: When?
Kid: You told me that my little brother was an Angel!
Mom: Sooo?
Kid: Then why didn’t he fly when I threw him off the balcony?
Mom: WHAT!!!??!!
Why didn’t the orphan see the new movie?
It was "Spider-Man: No Way Home."
Why wasn’t the orphan able to finish his cereal?
His parents never brought back the milk.
So little Johnny was on the bus, and the bus driver already hated him. So he started to talk to himself JUST loud enough for the bus driver to hear.
"If my dad was a bull, and my mom was a cow, that would make me... a little bull!"
"If my dad was a rooster, and my mom was a hen, that would make me... a little rooster!"
And by this point, the bus driver was fed up with him, so he said:
"Ok little Johnny, I got one for you: If your dad was a drunk, and your mom was a whore, what would that make you?"
Little Johnny smiled and said: "A bus driver!"