The jokes
A vampire goes to the bakery.
Vampire: "One bun, please."
Baker: "But you're a vampire, don't you need blood?"
Vampire: "Yes, there is an accident outside and I need something to dip."
Chuck Norris once said that he didn't like the plane he was riding in. Out of sadness, the plane committed suicide. How, you ask? Ask the Twin Towers.
As an actor going to film a new TV show in another country, when TSA asks, "What’s the purpose of your visit?"... "I’m going to shoot a pilot" is never a good answer.
Well, a lock and a key were going on vacation, but the key said, "Help me, I'm stuck!" and then the lock said, "I think I am in lock-shary."
What’s the difference between Geico and a wife?
Geico saves you more.
What’s the difference between a life and a nuclear bomb?
I don’t have a life.
Why are cancer kids so fly?
Because they got the drip.
This is the real reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To visit his grandmother at KFC.
What did Osama say after knocking over the Twin Towers?
He he he haw.
Alfonso's mom is so fat that she stepped on the scale and the doctor said, "Oh shit, that's my phone number!"
One time, the quiet kid hacked the speakers in a school. Next thing you know, "Pumped Up Kicks" by Foster The People starts playing.
What's Technoblade's favorite show and is the only one he can relate to?
Peppa Pig: Peppa Dies!
Why does Technoblade make orphan jokes?
'Cuz he's the Father!!!
Why are the Twin Towers and genders so similar?
Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
What is the difference between an orphan and a robber?
One is wanted.
Why can't orphans watch "The Simpsons"?
Because they don't know who's Homer.
What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a pimple? You never see a pimple come on a little boy’s face.
What's the similarity between pedophiles and school shooters?
They both shoot when they see kids.
The new pandemic is feminism and all kinds of democratic thinking. COVID is a joke compared to these nasty ass diseases.
Men and women are not equal, speaking biologically and mentally. I don't care what other feminists say. Men are naturally physically stronger, while women are more mentally stable (sometimes). The internet and the media will lie. You feminists say that you are stronger. Well, you wish. You can't hit a girl because she is more sensitive, but she says she is stronger. Like, what the hell?
We're not sexist men; you're sexist women. And BTW, you'll rot in hell for hating God's creation. And also, men were created before women. Search it up in the Bible or online.