The jokes

I am crying tears of joy rn.😭 I was wrongfully denied my visa. ☠️ They took me to the Q&A section, that I needed to answer one simple question for my visa to be granted.

The question was the original synonym of Bench. I shakily answered "Pristiano Penaldo" 😭. I was right guys ✅🛫

I was exploring the Dubai trophy factory when someone came crashing in. It was him, Pristiano Penaldo. He held the workers at gunpoint, forcing them to make him another plastic Mickey Mouse award or he will dive and sue them for assaulting him. Shame on you, pendu!

I was playing football with my friends, and I got tackled and got a penalty. Suddenly, the ground started shaking, and Penaldo emerged from the mud. He took the penalty, but since it wasn't Andorra, he missed. Shame on you, Penaldo!

I was swimming in a pool on my vacation when a fan of mine approached me. He said he wanted an autograph and gave me a pen to sign it. I accidentally dropped the pen in the pool. Suddenly, Penaldo came out of NOWHERE and dove to save it. He said he always dives for pens.

Yes, the Queen has died today. Can the people of the world please finally tell Harry to stop cross-dressing as her?

The Good Old Days.

You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman: Stuff you pay good money for in later life.

What do you call emos that live in the Bahamas?

Tropical depressions.

TommyInnit said, "Long live the Queen." Look at where she's at now.

Well, yo mama is fat, and when she loses weight, all the food that she has is hers, but the Africans get none.

What do teachers eat? They eat square stuff.

What does 6 tell 7?

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!"

Emo girls be like, "How much am I worth?"

Girl, scan the code on your wrist.

I was digging a hole in the garden when I found some gold coins.

I was about to run and tell my wife when I remembered why I was digging a hole in the garden...

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

My friend said, "Where is the trash?" I said, "Look in the mirror, there is the trash."

What did the north tower say to the south tower?

"You're too young to smoke."

The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"

"I ate New York hot dogs."

What happens when the Freedom Towers got hit? They step in Ground Zero.

My life is the joke.

Say the drive through at McDonald's, order (don't say the sake) but when you get it ask them, "My sake?" and say, "Sake that ass."