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The jokes

What's the difference between the Queen's death and Princess Diana's death? The Queen died in peace, not pieces.

What does the plane that hit the Twin Towers and milk have in common?

My dad went to get both and never came back.

So here's the joke. A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz

I was at a restaurant and a waitress yelled, "Does anyone know CPR?" I said, "I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed and laughed, well, everyone except one.

What's the difference between the Twin Towers and McDonald's?

One's a drive-through and one's a fly-through.

Give a man a match, and he’ll be warm for a few hours.

Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.

I was drinking a martini and the waitress screamed, "Does anyone know CPR?" I yelled, "I know the entire alphabet," and we all laughed and laughed. Well, except one person.

They say the surest way to a man’s heart is through the stomach. But, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.

The orphan was playing baseball. He hit a home run. His coach told him to run home. He couldn't find it.

What's the difference between Adolf Hitler and Usain Bolt?

Usain Bolt finished the races.

Think about how many more girls we guys could get if we talked to them how we talk to other guys, like when they say, "Can I borrow a pencil?" You say, "You can borrow this hard wood dick."

I have a pen, I have an Apple, um, Apple pen.

The Taliban had a plane, the US had a building boom, 9/11.

A favorite childhood memory was building sandcastles with my grandfather, that is until my mom took the urn away from me.

Why was the Pakistani bomber angry? Since he got a pepperoni instead of a plain [pizza].

Why was the PUBG player sad?

Since all his friends went to school while he went to Pochinki.